Has anyone here suffered severe child abuse & then confronted their abuser as an adult?

[fdjdsoignl]

Decades on & I'm thinking of tipping the whole lot in his lap. Despite police involvement he was never charged. I'm thinking of turning up out of the blue and just telling him how he destroyed my sanity for decades & giving him back the pain & I wouldn't care if his current wife overheard.

Oh love I don't know what to advise.

I did confront her. And she gaslighted the Hell out of me. Completely denied it. Made me out to be deranged.

I had my second breakdown the following week and was hospitalised again.

Having your abuse denied by the abuser is the worst form of violence to your soul.

Yes, I did.

My parents denied, went instant no contact, have never met my DD and the 2 siblings they control/live with them became spiteful and disrespectful and disloyal towards me. I have no contact with any of them now.

They are evil dysfunctional people. Doesn't make me feel good now, didn't then

danTDM Id been NC for 6 years when I confronted her. It's now been 12 years of NC and that's the only time I broke it and I wish to fuck I hadn't. I'm very LC with 3 of my siblings and NC with one as she reminds me too much of our mother and treats her DC like she treated us and it gives me the absolute fucking rage.

My ex did this and his father wasn't the least bit bothered. It didn't help my ex at all. Police involvement did nothing either. His father seems to be bullet proof. Some of the people he abused are still in friendly contact with him, even though he did terrible things to them for years.

I think it just gives an abuser another chance to abuse. I'd just stay nc and nurture yourself.

Hi Mombie, yes, be careful what you are expecting with the confrontation OP, as you won't get an apology, feel better, have affirmation. In my opinion you will get the exact opposite and feel worse.

Yes, siblings also tend to fly around spreading gossip. To think how I spent my childhood protecting my sister and she turned into the biggest two faced person. Sorry, she really did.

Hideous situation.

Put perfectly Lostgarden

It gives the abuser another way to abuse

I wish I had known this.

I didn't feel the need to, OP. Honestly. I think I got to the place where I saw them as the shrivelled, empty, lacking people that they were, and didn't feel threatened by what they did. I also repaired myself and so it didn't matter the same anymore.

I instinctively knew they'd deny it (remember they're shrivelled, empty, lacking people) and try to gaslight me, and I didn't have the time for it in my life.

I often think I'll bump into them one day. And when I do, I know I will feel taller and stronger stood by them. Like in the sense of towering over them. I won't feel the need to bring it up if they don't, but if they do I will tell the truth, just because that's how I am with everyone anyway. I won't expect them to see it or apologise though. If they'd reached that place they could track me down, and they haven't. So it's futile, and more importantly, I don't need it.

If they were reasonable people they wouldn't have abused in the first place. As they are not reasonable people, they are not going to respond well to being confronted and are likely to blame you.

In my experience, the most constructive thing for you to do is to make your life better without them. Confronting them will be stressful and unpleasant and they're not going to change because of it.