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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

nasty partners family

2 replies

cuddly61 · 02/05/2017 20:54

i'm still trying to find my way around this site so hope ive found the right place.
my partners family are basically at the route of our rows. i'll try and keep it brief. its mainly my partners two sisters and mother. my partner gets this "selective" hearing when they say something nasty to me,never hearing them. and when my partner does hear them ,its "oh they didn't mean it like that" etc. its like this my partner does not defend me but if i say anything negative to my partner about them wow jumps to their defence . the latest happened this weekend i overheard these two sisters saying to my partner" you come and stay with us where people love and care about you" then one of the sisters walked into my room where i was sat nearly pooped herself saying "oh i didnt know you was in here" i just said yeah. but of course my partner defended them ,saying they didnt mean it like that. never heard the sister say she didnt know i was in the room . they said others things as well to me that was downright uncalled for. so how would others handle this situation? personally i dont want either of them in my house again . so how do i get this across to my partner? ive tried explaining how much they upset me but all i get is excuses for them. basically they are trying to convince my partner our relationship is toxic,that was the word they used as well saying my partner while at home was in a prison and its toxic,how much worse our relationship is ,than when we went through a bad patch. how i held my temper i dont know. but ive had enough advice please

OP posts:
RunRabbitRunRabbit · 02/05/2017 20:59

It doesn't matter what they do. They aren't in a relationship with you. Maybe they genuinely think you are bad for him. None of that matters.

All that matters is that he doesn't disagree, he doesn't defend you. He ranks them higher than you.

Have you been together long?

cuddly61 · 02/05/2017 21:47

6 years we been together. they was all friendly for a few years but then last year they started things like getting my partner to take family members who couldnt drive on a ten day fly drive holiday i wasn't even invited. and my partner is not the only driver in their family any one of them could had took them but no they asked my partner knowing my partner wouldnt say no. so this year i told my partner from now on i was to come first and my partner agreed,but his sisters didnt agree in fact on their visit one said and i quote"when i heard (my partners name) had said he was concentrating on you i said it was ridiculous" my partner sat there never said a word. but ive tried discussing what they said how much they upset me but my partner just doesn't want to know. but yes the way you put it is right he is ranking them higher than me and i need to put a stop to it but don't know how. those apron strings need cutting he is 46

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