Mediation

[JellyBean31]

I filed for divorce in September 2016, I have the decree nisi, but don't want to apply for the absolute until finances are agreed and feel no further along as far as that is concerned.

We had verbally agreed finances before filing but he's back tracked completely.

We both have solicitors, negotiations are slow and expensive, with him even changing.his mind on things he's previously agreed in writing via his solicitor!

Last week I had a call from a mediator saying she met with stbxh on 18th April (this hasn't previously been mentioned even though we've had email correspondence after this date). She'd clearly been fed a line by him and sounded so sympathetic toward him I lost my shit completely (not proud of that) and told her I refused to engage in the process at all.

But now having read the paperwork properly, and having spoken to my solicitor he advises to go for the individual initiative meeting as if we end up in court I'll be required to go anyway.

My question is, what weight does the mediators report carry? Will the fact that I let rip on the phone to her already put me in a nagative position?

I still have absolutely no intention of sitting in the same room as stbxh.

You need a mediation sign off before court but it's just to say mediation has been attempted.I think your individual meeting counts..the form is a MIAM and issued by mediator.It doesn't detail agreements.

Mediation only works with reasonable people.The court will see all papers from solicitors so if you reference his agreement it will be in there but as I understand it a judge will review form Es and make a decision from there.
Mediation was awful for me, really aggressive ex and woeful offer. After 2 sessions I decided on court.

Thanks hermione. I definitely don't want to be in the same room as him, he's aggressive and manipulative.

My solicitor thinks it's all delay tactics on his side to stay in the house longer. He's also seen copies of abusive emails I've received so doesn't think it's worth going any further than the initial MIAM, as like you say, it wouldn't work as he's unreasonable.

You can do mediation where you each sit separately and the mediator shuttles between you. It's less expensive than Court if you can agree that way. I wouldn't take the mediators tone at face value. They see and hear a lot of things and I imagine he/she is more open minded than you're giving them credit for.

Thanks changedname maybe i am judging her too quickly, I'm seeing her on Thursday anyway so I'll soon find out if she is impartial or not.

Can't an agreement made in mediation be enforced though? He has agreed about 6 weeks ago that the house will be sold but it still isn't for sale as he's wasting time picking over the bones of other parts of the finances. The house could easily be on the market while that's being done!

Thats why I think we'll end up in court, as I don't think he'll put it up for sale without being enforced to do so!