ARGUEMENTS

[GeordyGal]

im just new to this site so excuse me if im abit stale .

in the past few weeks i have been having alot of rows with my partner , most of the time they are away from my child but to day we had a row and my little boy heard us , when i came up to my bedroom my little boy asked if it was daddy who made him upset, i have always said i would never put my children through what i had to go throught at there ages and i feel i am letting him down and myself, it breakes my heart when my boy sees me upset and my partner just shruggs it off and expects me to be all back to normal after a few minutes i always am cause i dont wanr to cause an atmospher and it is getting me down, has any one any good advice for a very worried mummy
thanks

what sort of things are you arguing about?

oh and welcome to mnet

I don't think having arguments within earshot of your children, or even in front of them, is necessarily a problem. But it sounds like you're not happy, and it sounds like you're getting quite upset in these arguments.

You can say to your son that sometimes people have arguments - surely he gets into arguments with his friends sometimes?

But if you're unhappy with the number and type of arguments you're having, maybe Relate or similar would be sensible?

I think seeing your parents argue in a constructive way and make up afterwards is actually a GOOD thing to experience

I think children that have NEVER seen their parents arguing will get a shock when they have their first row with a partner, and be completely unable to accept this as an ok part of life

But I think if you are being contemptuous, violent, or not making up properly afterwards (I don't mean just pretending everything is ok after a few minutes) then IMO there is a problem, yes

Oh and Welcome to Mumsnet

we just argue over little things that egt bigger and bigger because we are so stubborn.

and thanks for the welcomes guys xx

i think as long as there is resolution, rather than seething resentment carrying on for days it's ok. it's not realistic to pretend that you don't get angry and you don't have arguments. just as long as they can see that you sort them out.

I agree with Warthog. I've always tried to avoid arguing in front of ds, but my dh doesn't. We very rarely argue these days anyway, but I know that when we do our ds gets upset and worried.

We always make a point of making up in front of him, usually within a very short time of the row.

I hadn't thought before about what happens if a child doesn't see arguments as part of life, but what Franny says makes a lot of sense.