How much contact when abroad

[shyturnip]

Been dating for five months. Amazing connection, amazing sex.
Text or other communication pretty much every day.

He's on a business conference for 2 weeks.

Day 3 and I've heard nothing, nadda, silence.

Should I be worried?

Last thing he said was "wish I could pack you in my suitcase, I'm gonna miss you"

But I've heard nothing since.

Should I be worried?

It's fairly normal for DH and I not to have contact when abroad. Conferences keep you busy and the time difference makes it awkward. I don't think I'd notice if he didn't make contact after three days and I've left it longer before contacting him when I've been overseas. I just monitor his flights online and assume he's safe as long as there aren't any news reports of disasters happening. We've never been the type to text or call every day though, we're pretty relaxed about communication. So I wouldn't be worried OP. I'd find it a bit stifling to have regular communication demands especially if I'm trying to focus on work.

Agree with jelly . I wouldn't worry he is probably immersed in work. Also time differences make it difficult to keep up the contact. With my DH we could easily go 3/4 days without contact depending where he is

Takes 2 mins to send a text no one is that busy .... even if it comes through overnight. It's the thought that counts, everyone has time when they wake or just before they go bed.

why don't you contact him?

Does he get hyperfocused? DH started going abroad for work, and simply didn't communicate. Diffent country, different head. He didn't tell me where he was. Didn't stay in touch. This was when we had small children. I had to explain to him that I needed to know where he was so I could get in touch in an emergency, and that it would be good if he could ring most days. He does, no problem. But he needed to be told. In his head, why did I need to know what hotel it was, as I wasn't going there?!

These days with wifi there is no reason not to WhatsApp or FaceTime every couple of days.

I agree, no one is that busy, doesn't even take a couple of minutes to say a line or two. Lets see what fantastical excuse he comes up with.

I agree with others, in this day and age no reason not to contact.

My DP works away a lot and sometimes in time zones where he's in bed when I'm in work and vice versa. We really make an effort to face time and if not we always text when we wake up/go to bed.

I think after 5 months of dating it would be perfectly normal. I was at a US conference last week, and our work hours were 16 hours a day so I really was sleeping or working as I still needed to deal with my work emails. I spoke to dh once in the week while stood in a queue to get breakfast, and my brain was too fried to think about texting.

Not all conferences are that bad, but there's often pressure to pack a lot into the time, and your time isn't your own - breakfast meetings or events, lunch symposia, and so on

If it's important to you, you'll make time. Don't buy it.

Once you have more years together, you can get something worked out that works well for you both.

DH is away alot. The minimum contact we eventually agreed was an email once a day, usually before we go to sleep, so it's there ready when the other wakes up. It took some working out and tbh i know if he has time (and internet/phone connection) , he will be in touch so i don't stress if i don't hear from him.

Eight months in, i think it is more tricky to not worry if you don't hear anything. I would encourage you to keep calm and have a reasonable conversation about 'how we want to keep in touch' when he is away, only once he is back. Too much pressure early on might just make him think that you are too high maintenance.

Until you are next of kin, you might not get to know if something has really gone wrong, so i get that you do want to hear regularly or at least be warned if he will be out of touch. Best advice is not to stress about it, for your own peace of mind,

I think a few times a day is normal! Morning, quick mid day update to see how your day is and then a goodnight text as a minimum.

I would be upset at less than that to be honest. I've never gone 3 days not communicating with my partner and he worked abroad for 6 months and we have both had holidays etc away on our own. A text takes seconds.

Have you text him?

I wouldn't worry about this. He's abroad and he's working. If it's bothering you send him a message. Life isn't a game. I don't feel the need to message DP every day, we're both busy people. Sometimes it's daily text but often not. I don't tend to bother him for example when he has his DC and he wouldn't generally message me when he knows I'm at work. DP recently went abroad for work for a week. Heard from him once, maybe twice. To be fair I just kept busy and looked forward to him getting back, best bit

I'm with the majority here, would only text or expect a text if something was up.

I think it depends on where he is, if he's got wifi etc.

The lack of communication would bother me though. Did you discuss what contact you'd have before he left?

I've been seeing someone for just over a year, and after 4 months I went away abroad for a week. We texted several times a day and spoke on the phone twice in that time.

Have you messaged him?

crikey--- mine is the opposite. Phoning with every moan.

I messaged him and got a reply pretty much straightaway.

I'm going to stop stressing about it now. Thanks all.