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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Tell me I'm doing the right thing

4 replies

thistoosha11pass · 30/04/2017 23:02

Married 10 years, found out about 4 years in that my DH was messaging a sex worker in Thailand, He'd met her online, was sending her money, we had 2 small dc. He begged for forgiveness, I forgave too quickly and we carried on. Then I discovered a massive and expensive porn problem, he had a breakdown, I was busy caring for a relative with dementia, we moved house and again stupidly we just carried on. I knew it wasn't right but was so terrified of making a mistake and hurting the children. Plus up to my tits in nappies and sleep deprived.

Roll on time, one more child in the mix and our marriage is dead on the water. No sex for 3 years, certainly no trust, bad atmosphere at home. 6 weeks ago he told me he was leaving, and then backed out, so I have now ended it.

I feel really scared as he is refusing to move out and says we have to sell the house. This is my kids home and I want stability for them. My relative with dementia has now died and left me some money so I could make him an offer. I work part time and am the main carer. He earns 7x what I do. I want him out. I want a divorce but don't want it to get nasty. Not even sure what I'm asking really, just reassurance that life as a single mum with 3 dc will be fine, and eventually he will get it and leave and fuck off to the far side of fuck.

OP posts:
Ohyesiam · 01/05/2017 08:34

Op that sounds awful. I don't have much advice but didn't want to read and run.
Sounds good you have some money, to give you leverage and power.
Flowers

helpmesusan · 01/05/2017 08:45

Really sorry op.

You need to see a solicitor ASAP.

Not sure where you live, but I know in Scotland an inheritance cannot be considered matrimonial property, but if you buy something with it, the thing you buy could be mp. So please be careful! Do you have the money yet?

thistoosha11pass · 01/05/2017 08:48

Yes I have it. I am beginning to hate him, he has started withholding money for housekeeping. He has a good pension so I am hoping to offset against that. I'm going to email solicitor now.

OP posts:
SleepingTiger · 01/05/2017 08:48

Be clear about the deal you want and stick with it. See a pragmatic lawyer with a can do attitude.

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