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Original poster

Depression has ruined my LTR

4 replies

Roomwithaview22 · 30/04/2017 18:55

I'm lost right now. My fiancé has ended our relationship. We had a stressful time last year and I've struggled with anxiety and depression. I didn't see the signs and pushed him away. I was cold, critical and an emotional mess. I'm now in treatment and things are getting much clearer for me now but it's too late. He says he saw a side to me he doesn't like and I hurt his confidence and it's over. Just like that. I'm heartbroken and so angry at myself. My entire life is now upturned. I'm alone for the first time in over 10 years and no-one to blame but myself. We were so happy. Why did I have to ruin everything?

OP posts:
georgethecat · 30/04/2017 19:10

Don't beat yourself up. Maybe the relationship wasn't right rather than it being all your fault.

I had anxiety & depression in a LTR and interestingly when we split my anxiety improved 10 fold as my partner and I were individually nice people but the relationship was very stressful and not right

Original poster
Roomwithaview22 · 30/04/2017 19:19

I feel so overwhelmed just now. I'm so used to having him that now I just feel lost. I have wondered if my anxiety is tied to our relationship but right now I just feel sad and scared. I don't know what to do with myself and have convinced myself that I'll remain lonely and childless forever. I just want to have a little hope or something to see me through

OP posts:
greenberet · 30/04/2017 20:50

I agree with george - depression is an illness and makes you do the pushing away - its not a side to you its the illness - maybe he saw a side to himself that he didn't like ie that he couldn't support you at a time you needed help and rather than admit it to himself he blames you.

be kind to yourself - you may well find that your anxiety was relationship based - and its normal for you to feel sad at the end of a long term relationship - give yourself some time and when its right you might meet someone who understands depression and helps you through the bad patches ( as I did)

Original poster
Roomwithaview22 · 02/05/2017 18:38

I just feel like a shadow of my former self. There's so much loss and he is moving on and seems happier than ever and it's soul destroying. I'm not sure what's happened to me and how I could have been the master of my own demise. Truly feel hopeless right now.

OP posts:
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