Its all going wrong and I want to cry please HELP

[romanceless]

But Im trying to stay strong. I think weve come the point were we need some mediation to help us through , but I dont know were tostart , Ive done phychotherapy councelling and I thought it was a waste of time. Is there any good transformative therapies for couples, as I dont hold much faith in relate unless others have had successful experiences. From the other thread I started you can see that we are tryong to make a mend but just when I think we are connecting again we have a huge row about our differences and it goes horrible again.Last night we were up till midnight trying to work it through.

If I give to much away about the nature of our problems then I may blow my cover, but I need to talk this morning as I feel quite alone and sick to my stomach today about it.

Don't know what to say luv but big hugs anyway

hard to advise perhaps you are rowing because it is all raw still can you just forget the problem or choose not to mention it again once you have come to an agreement - agree action /make up go on from here as a new begginning - very hard to do you have to both agree

I was meant to say mediation not meditation ,hed tell me were to stick it if we do that!!!

Thank you P

This is the other thread I started at the weekend here

maybe you need some time apart,just to give your head a rest from all the nasty stuff ,hug from me tho

i just read thru your other thread - why not try some dance lessons? there's a place in hornsey lane, i think which does all sorts.

dance lessons would be fun , what made you suggest that ?? Is it because its something we have to do together in close proximity ??

have you spoken to dh about how you feel?

yup. it provides intimacy but not in a self conscious way, and we had a tango lesson in argentina years ago which was great fun. you can also theme it with the cocktails of your choice afterwards... and it's a skill that no one seems to have any more. in buenos aires tango was becoming really trendy, city types went to bars on their way home from work to have nibbles/drinks/dance lessons.

The Factory 407 Hornsey Rd, London, N19 4DX 0207 272 1122 Email: [email protected] Website: www.tangolondon.com

how are you today ? big hugs

Hope you're feeling better today,LoL XX

Thank you girls for checking in with me.

I think we may have got all the anger and rubbish out , my mum suggested that I be the adult and step up to the plate and be warm and loving withought excpecting, so I sent him a text at work saying I loved him. That seemed to change his attidude immediately and make him fell wanted again. Hes been every affectionate more than ever for years , but its gonna be a slow process and Im sure we may go up and down for a while. He didnt have much love or affection from his parents , so its quite nice for him to get that. It would be god to get support from here.

After a chat with some mum friends yesterday it seems a common situation in the fsirt year of parenthood, what do you think ?? It seems to change your whole world around and you have to reevaluate everything.

glad you are ok - it is atime of readjustmenthaving a child two beomes three and sometimes it is hard dh thinks it is harder for men cos they are out there doing teh breadwinner bit and miss out on time with children adn they have to cope with no longer being your number one priority good luck

I've read somewhere that men get confused(poor loves!)after their partners have babies,they(the blokes)start equating their partners with their own mothers and get all 'Oedipus' about stuff.I think being extra thoughtful about showing them how much you care ie.the text is def. the way to go.Much love B