I dont want sex.... feeling guilty... whats wrong with me?

[charliesmummy87]

i know the libido is supposed to drop a bit after birth but i just dont enjoy sex, if i'm honest when i first had sex i was depressed and saw it as something i had to put up with, i had very low self esteem, then i met DH and he taught me to enjoy it, now after DS is born it feels like an obligation and he feels like i'm rejecting him. i feel guilty cos there are times i need to feel close and needed by him but i'm not enjoying the experience, is there something wrong with me? please help.

My libido (not raging at the best of times!) took about 12 mths to return after both my pregnancies.

Part of the problem is tiredness, and lack of opportunity, but it is difficult when you feel obliged to "relieve" DH!

its hard on him, he is understanding, but when before DS and while trying for DS there was loads now we lie in bed and read before sex, how much of a anti-climax is that, we're not spontanius anymore wither. i feel like i'm letting him down. i feel distant from him, its not that i dont love him, but its more comfatable, no real spark anymore.

perhaps you need to get back in the habit - make more effort etc. A nice meal, a shower together, watch a dirty movie, whatever.

I find if we wait around to see if anything is going to happen it never does!

It will pass with time, don't worry. It gets harder to be spontaneous once you have kids but that doesn't have to spoil the fun. Fretting too much about it will make it feel like a bigger problem than it necessarily is - it's very common, and should pass. Maybe you should explain all this to him so he doesn't think you've stopped loving him and panic?

thanks girls, no idea who to talk to, my folks wont wanna know, my childless mates will be all "i told u so" just cos they can. and my friends with kids only just getting to know me, i dont wanna lable myself with problems already. i know it will pass and i'll try to do stuff to keep the romance alive.