Deluded with dating

[Disappointedinlove]

I've been single for around a year now after a messy break up with an on again off again boyfriend who promptly dumped me as soon as he found someone better.

I've been dating a lot lately, and one thing that is really starting to bother me is the amount of men who cancel plans last minute or who don't like to make advance plans and message on the day to do something that evening. I'm finding myself going round in circles trying to work these guys out..

Example, I was supposed to meet a guy Friday night (last night) who I have met before. We didn't have a specific venue/time. I don't hear anything from him until 7.30pm when he messages to say he can't make it. So how are you or sorry or anything. Then today he messages again asking to meet up. I said no (I don't want to be jumping to his demands) and he said ok well let me know when you're free. Am I being unreasonable to feel a bit angry at this? I just wouldn't personally make a plan if there was a chance I couldn't make it, and if I did have to cancel I'd be highly apologetic. This sort of thing has happened numerous times. So now I am thinking of blocking and deleting and moving on, but the amount of these guys I've blocked lately is so high, is there something wrong with me?!

I then have been seeing this other guy who I can't read at all. He's very affectionate in person, yet I hear nothing from him in between dates. Or he will text me, I will reply and then ... nothing.

Yet the guy who I have zero interest in can't stop messaging me and asking me out on dates..

Is dating really supposed to be this hard?!

Arrgh. Its not who is and isn't good enough...everyone is good enough for someone. I hate when these threads demonise men . Age old advice, will stand for ever. Just be yourself and the right one will find you and you him.

It's not demonising men, it's just hard to feel positive after so many negative experiences.

It wasnt aimed OP. But the issue is having to find something 'wrong' being with yourself or the men in question to neatly explain why this one didnt fly. The fact is not everyone you meet can or will be the love of your life. Thats it in a sentence. Its not about them or you, its just the nature of attraction. There is nothing wrong with you or them, you are both perfect for somebody.

Yeah, and then there's the third group, they need to keep themselves to themselves and leave others alone.

OP. I get what you mean about last minute plans. It feels as though they don't want to commit until they know they have nothing they'd rather be doing. But I do wonder how common this is in life in general, with people's busy lives meaning many like to wait until they know they're not completely knackered after work, for example, before arranging a night out.

There is nothing wrong with you or them, you are both perfect for somebody

Exactly. I really don't like the "they aren't good enough for you" thing. I know it's to try and make the OP feel a bit better, but it's not about who's better, it's about compatability. Dating is a numbers game; most dates won't lead to anything more.

When I was dating years ago I got really down because I was convinced I was always the one being rejected, but when I analysed it properly I found it was actually pretty much 50/50, and I did as much rejecting as I was on the receiving end of. That really helped put things into perspective.