So he keeps packing his bags then unpacking

[Isobela]

He betrayed me a few weeks ago, things aren't going well.
I'm constantly questioning and giving the third degree even though I've said I'll give him a second chance.

But tonight he's packed his bags after another argument and is currently unpacking them because I haven't begged him to stay.

I've said it's all for drama and it's pathetic. Everytime we argue now he packs everything he owns - it's getting pathetic.

I was totally ready to let him go tonight, gutted but ready.

But yet again he's unpacking.

definitely do not beg! Do NOT do the 'pick me' dance, which is what he's suggesting you do.

So sorry Isabella you've been put through hell and don't deserve this

The whole point is to create drama and push you to a point until you beg for forgiveness, so take the decision away from him and tell him to go.

He'll stay on the merry-go-round, as long as you do.

How are you doing Op?

It was pathetic to be honest.

He packed his bags all dramatically and I said I think it's for the best which he clearly wasn't expecting because when everything was packed he just sat down and cried.

Then he started unpacking again saying he can't leave me!

He's done this at least 4 times in the past 7 weeks. Never have I told him not to! I know it's me that drives him to it because I'm questioning him everyday - I can't switch it off in my head and so feel the need to talk.

I don't know if it will ever get any better - I just feel totally flat.

Oh fuck that shit! It will get better, the sooner you do something about it, he sounds like a drama queen.

YOU ARE NOT DRIVING HIM TO ANYTHING.

HE IS 100% RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL OF HIS OWN ACTIONS.

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO QUESTION AND WANT TO TALK.

Sorry for shouting. I just feel very strongly on this.

My DP upset me deeply, about a year into our relationship. It was a very stupid thing to do. Online anonymous stuff, no real world contact and not a particular person.

He was distraught that he had put our relationship into total jeopardy. He fully expected me to chuck him instantly.

We agreed to work on things. The rules were (are) complete and total honesty and transparency. I have the right at any time to read any of his messages, have full access to his phone etc, I still do, although I rarely feel the need to do it. I am allowed to question, talk about the issue and ask him about it at any time, and he does not object, get defensive or strop about it. It was his job to regain my trust, and accept responsibility that he had damaged things between us. He did not get any sympathy from me about how upset he was. It was his own doing.

Theatrics like what your partner is doing would have had short shrift from me - he'd have been out on his ear.

Oh no, I'm afraid to say I laughed when I read this. How is he not embarrassed by his drama?

I know it's me that drives him to it because I'm questioning him everyday
Could I assume that you do this because you don't feel as though he's telling you the whole truth? Or maybe he refuses to discuss it properly? Perhaps he does the "but that's in the past, let's draw a line under it and move on"? People tend to question when they need answers, not for the fun of torturing themselves by going over and over something.