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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Help with Money Issue urgently needed

20 replies

3GirlsMum · 06/07/2004 00:22

Writing this on behalf of another mumsnetter who cant get to the comp!

She has recently left her DP and moved our of their home with the kids. Her ex DP has now opened up a new bank account in his name where his pay will go. In the meantime my friends name is on most of the DD's including most of the house ones and the car, as well as others, and she has no money to pay these.

He isnt going to give her the money to pay for any of the DD's and she is worried she will end up in bad credit and that he will be able to take the car (which is in his name) back. Does anyone know where she stands with this please?

Thanks x

OP posts:

tammybear · 06/07/2004 00:29

well when i left exp, i sorted out all my benefits, such as applying for income support, single child tax credit, housing benefit etc. her exp should give her maintenance, and if he refuses she should contact csa. she should see a solicitor or CAB if possible as they can tell her more in depth of how she stands.

hope shes ok. xxx

WideWebWitch · 06/07/2004 00:30

If they weren't married and the car's in his name then I suspect she has no claim on it. If they were/are married then everything counts as joint marital assets and neither of them can sell them or anything (in theory) without the other persons permission I think. Sorry, but if they weren't married then there's not much she can do. It depends on a lot of things though I think, was the house in joint names? Why is she moving out and not him? He will have to pay for his children but she needs to contact the CSA and a solicitor. I hope someone with experience comes along in a minute, I'm not a lawyer. I'll have a think about what she should do next. Does she have a job? 'Bad credit' will only happen if she defaults on payments a lot or doesn't pay something like a bank loan/overdraft so she shouldnt' worry about that overly. I would contact everyone if I were her though and make sure that anything that was in joint names (bank accounts etc) is put in her or his sole names.

twiglett · 06/07/2004 00:32

message withdrawn

Original poster

3GirlsMum · 06/07/2004 00:34

Im writing on behalf of Harman. She isnt married to her ex P and he is trying to make things as awkward as possible re: money! House is in joint names and she had to move out as could no longer stay under the same roof as him. Ive suggested she contact CAB asap but just wanted to see if anyone else had been through this and what advice they could give as she is really worried.

OP posts:

tammybear · 06/07/2004 00:42

i made an agreement with exp for maintenance. he was suppose to pay me £25 a week but he changed it to £10 a week. Im now trying to sort it out through CSA as he is screwing me over, and I cant do anything about it at the moment

Original poster

3GirlsMum · 06/07/2004 00:52

The problem is that Harman has no income of her own other than what she is trying to sort out through the DSS. Her Ex is well aware of this and is basically using this as another way or trying to force her to come home!

OP posts:

tammybear · 06/07/2004 00:53

where is she staying? shell be able to claim income support if she has no job

Original poster

3GirlsMum · 06/07/2004 00:55

She was staying with her brother, but is now currently at her mums and waiting to be offered a council house, but isnt sure how long that will take. She is very pregnant so will be very stuck without a car and three other kids to get about.

OP posts:

gothicmama · 06/07/2004 00:57

she should have child tax credit income and cb paid in her name already if not she can ask tahthis is paid to her I would also suggest she cancels dd's and contacts people they are made out to suggesting they contact xp also see cAB or solicitor 1st hour is free and may be able to get legal aid or something

tammybear · 06/07/2004 00:58

if she tells the council that she has nowhere to go and that she can only stay at her mums for a couple of weeks, she should be given a place quicker. or she could do what i did and find a place to rent and apply for housing benefit, i get the rent paid for me by the council as im not working and on income support

Gumdrop · 06/07/2004 01:09

I think I'd second the contacting the DD providers to explain what is going on - I think they are supposed to be a bit more amenable to making arrangements if you approach them up front rather than wait for the DD's to start bouncing?

Best of luck

tammybear · 06/07/2004 01:13

exp did that to me, cancelling all the DDs. it really pissed me off as I had dd, and our electricity and gas were going to be disconnected. I say harman should do that, as itll annoy her exp and mess things up for him. I know as it happened to me

HiddenSpirit · 06/07/2004 02:02

3GirlsMum, I would say the same as Gumdrop in that she should contact all the companies that she has DD's with and tell them that she is no longer at the property and that she won't be responsible for the DD's anymore, then give them her xp's name and tell them they should contact him.

As for council, she will get a place a lot quicker if her mum writes a letter saying she's kicking them all out as the council will need to put her and the kids in a b&b. While not a great solution (been there, but I only had 1 DS and was pregnant with DS2 so I can imagine what it would be like with the 3 kids) but she will be housed a lot quicker as they tend to "forget" about you if you're living with someone.

Also I know she's got so much on her plate, but if she gets a chance to get near a pc I've put a thread for her attention on MO

Thanks a million and tell her we're thinking about her and missing her xx

Original poster

3GirlsMum · 06/07/2004 02:04

Will certainly pass that information on to her and let her know about your thread HS. I know that she is very grateful for all the support and help that everyone has provided.

OP posts:

tammybear · 06/07/2004 02:08

i agree with the letter about being kicked out as i was told by my hv and midwife about this option when i was looking to move out of my mums. hope everything goes okay for her. xxx

coppertop · 06/07/2004 02:10

I agree with the advice already given. Just wanted to send my best wishes to Harman and her children. xx

Aero · 06/07/2004 02:26

Me too. Thanks TGM for the update. Wish I had some advice, but hopefully someone with some legal knowledge can be more helpful. Thinking of Harman and kids and hoping something livable for her is sorted soon.

tammybear · 06/07/2004 02:41

i just found this which may be a set back

housing rights

the link is from this site which I have found useful

i dont know how old her children are either but this may help if you follow the divorce, seperation, stepfamilies link.

hope all goes well for her though.
xxx

tammybear · 06/07/2004 02:49

oops the second link didnt work properly. if you click on helpdesk, then browse, where it says choose an event, scroll down to splitting up. it has useful tips although most are for married couples but on page 5 no. 46 is quite useful as there are organisations listed. xxx

Original poster

3GirlsMum · 06/07/2004 13:42

Thanks Tammybear. Will have a look at those sites for Harman. I think her best bet for now is to go to the CAB and make another appt with her solicitor as soon as possible. I know she is seeing someone today re: income support so hopefully things are gradually, although slowly being sorted.

OP posts:

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