Ex taking other kid on holiday

[Flowerbomb01]

Hi I'm posting this for my best mate as she's not a user but she in need of some advice.

Friend has 2 sons aged 9 and 6, they both have different Dad's but only the 9 year olds Dad has contact, the 6 year olds Dad hasn't had contact since he was a baby. Anyway the 9 yos Dad has always played a big part in his life and still stays with his mum (9yo gran), he takes his son away on holiday every year with his family (big family holiday, same place abroad).

Friend struggles as a single Mum and has never been able to take the boys on holiday abroad. Last night she had a phone call from ex saying him and his mum had been having a chat and wondered if they could take DS2 on holiday with them as he's known the family all his life and it would be nice for him to enjoy a holiday with his brother and it would give friend a break for a week.
She really wasn't expecting it and she thinks it's such a kind offer and something EX and his family really didn't have to do but at the same time she is unsure of whither to take them up on the offer as she feels a bit awkward about it. They are offering to pay it all aswell. Any advice?

How lovely to read a thread where not only is the Ex and his family hands-on, involved and responsible with their own child, but are more than happy to include the child's brother as well!

Lovely, lovely people - your friend should definitely take them up on their offer and not feel at all bad about it. They wouldn't have offered if they weren't genuine, could afford it etc.

That's a lovely offer. I'd accept.

I'd also get your friend to look at sun holidays, or Eurocamp type places. I never thought I'd be able to afford a holiday abroad with my kids and it was only when they got older that I found Eurocamp. Cheap flights, caravan for a low season week away, can be done really cheaply.

What lovely people they are. I'd be so very grateful if I was your friend.

She can give the boys pocket money as a contribution.

I meant spending money for souvenirs.

It is what I would have done. They obvs respect the relationship between the boys which is very important.

100% yes, she should let them go. And if she can't afford to contribute, that's OK - they offer in full knowledge of that, clearly.

He sounds lovely, it's really hard when an ex doesn't even acknowledge other siblings. I'd bite his hand off!

Thanks everyone for your feedback, my friend feels so much better about it after reading all your comments and she's decided to allow her son to go, she offered to help contribute to the cost but EX said no its his treat which I think is just lovely. She told him that she would provide everything he needs to go, clothes, passport ect. And he's happy with that, she can't wait to tell DS2 when it's booked hopefully by the weekend. Thanks again.

She can tell her ex that he has restored the Mumsnet faith . For me. At least!

Aww what a nice thread, hope the dc have a lovely time and your friend has a nice week off

Awww. What a lovely thread!

This thread is lovely but also sad in so much as it highlights some of the issues single mums / separated mums have. Its great if your friend is thankful DS2 can have a holiday but she shouldn't need to feel guilty if she can't provide it herself.

Awwwwwwwwwwww that is lovely. Perhaps DS1 has asked if DS2 can come along and he'll enjoy having a playmate - win win situation all around

God. Isn't it great to read of an ex and his family stepping up and just being lovely! 😊
Agree with pp re setting expectations but .... how refreshing
GO for it OP 👍🏻

She should absolutely let him go. They are making a lovely offer because they want to, not because they have to. The mother should write the ex's family a nice thank you note and have the son do the same when he returns.

Lovely and kind offer. I hope they all have a great time.

What a nice thread :)

God this actually made me cry, what a lovely man and what a lovely family. If I was her id perhaps send flowers to her xMIL.

I think this is lovely in theory if you trust them all - however what happens next year? and the year after?

Doing it as a one off is maybe not a good idea as it could cause resentment next year when he doesnt get to go....

There are lots of cheap holidays available from the sun holidays or private caravan bookings / premier inns from £29 per night for you to do with your boys. Haven and Butlines also now allow you to book ahead for 18 to 24 months and pay monthly for example.

My friends grandsons dad does this - treats the other boys like his own. Takes them all out to dinner, celebrations, play etc like their his own. what the ex is offering us lovely - it's marvellous and would mean that he and his brother would have a wonderful time.