Ex (D)H and I were divorced when DD, now aged 17, was 6.
We were married for 10 years and she was very much planned for.
We split following a catalogue of abusive relationship on his part which began yes, you've guessed it during my pregnancy.
As soon as we split he stopped wanted to financially support DD.
So began an 11 year war of attrition via the CSA, just to claim the money DD as set down in law to support DD.
The CSA for their part have been very difficult to deal with, so much so that I have twice received compensation from them following complaints I made about their ineptitude.
Believe me, if Ex H and I could have come to an amicable arrangement at any time over the past 11 years then we would have done. The fact is that he simply didn't want to pay.
He had married and has since divorced again within 6 weeks of our decree absolute. She was lovely, an excellent step-Mum to DD and supervised visit between DD and ExH.
They split after fewer than 4 years.
After this ExH moved away, he saw DD a few times after their split but very quickly dropped contact.
I did try to persuade him to maintain their relationship but he chose not to.
There is loads more back-story but this could become an epic.
So to now.
When he works he is very well remunerated but he job hops frequently which starts a CSA assessment from the beginning.
His unreliability in making CSA payments is such that they automatically take the money directly from his employer every time.
These calculations take weeks or months for the CSA to complete.
He started with a new company in February, they took a first payment from his salary and this was paid to me.
Despite me contacting the CSA the 2nd payment and 3rd as of this week have not arrived.
I have chased the CSA and been fobbed off by them.
I sent him a text this evening to ask whether payment had been taken from his wages and asking whether he could demonstrate this to the CSA if he was asked to, my text to him was pleasant and polite.
He sometimes sends me a text to discuss CSA payments, we usually have contact a couple of times a year, so it's not just a case of me contacting or even nagging him.
His response was:
I have no idea what you are on about re maintenance. It comes straight out of my salary every payday like always. I do not have to demonstrate anything.
I said:
At the moment, according to them your account with the CSA is in arrears by over £1000.
If you can provide evidence you have paid they need to contact your employer. If not then the CSA can take up to 40% of your wages until the arrears are satisfied. The money may have been taken from your wages but the CSA say that they have not received it.
You could contact the CSA to discuss this yourself. It can easily be sorted.
His response:
They can do what they want.
I paid
I have proof
Enough said.
Leave me alone. I have far more important things to be concerned about.
So there we have it. His parents may well be ill, there are many important things that happen in life but your own DD? Really? As for 'leave me alone' I only sent him two texts!