advice needed pls ....

[tryingtobestrong33]

Ive been here before and been absent for a while as my heads so battered but could really do with some advice
Background story i guess.....
Drugged and raped by someone i trusted ....
My 2 best friends in rl know but its drove a wedge between us as its still very raw and i cant be the person i used to be or that they want me to be atm ( one of them is getting married shortly and im not enthusiastic enough about wedding planning etc ) not meaninly so but i just feel numb to everything
I dont have family only these 2 friends and i dont want to loose them but i am i cant take the pressure/guilt of why i havent reported it yet etc
Dont really know what im looking for just for someone to understand it isnt that easy i guess and advise me how to not loose the people closest to me......

Making the report is your choice. When or even if you make a report is your choice. People are so judgemental yet they have no idea of what you are going through. When something like this happens it is as much as you can do to draw breath. To go and talk to official people about the most horrible thing ever is going to take a lot of courage from you. If these two friends were really good friends to you they would sit with outside the Police Station with you until you felt able to go in and they would go with you every step of the way.
I am so sorry this has happened to you and that you are not getting the support that you need. The Bride needs to get her head into gear. Does she really think that her wedding is going to be a top priority to someone who has been drugged and raped by a trusted person?
Offers hand hold. I understand.

Have you had any support for the rape at all?
If not then please call Rape Crisis.
It doesn't mean you have to report it but they can help you with counselling and local support.
Have you been to your GP?
Being numb to everything sounds like depression.
Not surprisingly! Your GP can help with some medication you need.
You could also be suffering from PTSD so talk to your GP about that too.
You cannot, as you now know, brush this under the carpet and hope it will go away.
It won't.
This will eat you up unless you get some proper real life professional support.
Please do that - today!!!

Whether you report it or not, the most important thing at the moment is your wellbeing. Please make sure you speak to somebody. An anonymous rape support helpline if easiest?

Your friends should support you and I am sure they feel they are doing so by pushing you to report it - perhaps it is what I would do too. I am sure they care for you but can't possibly comprehend what you are going through. I can only imagine how it must feel for you and that is why it is best to speak to somebody with more experience. They will help you understand the kind of help and support you need at this stage.

I am so sorry this happened to you! Hug x

Hi sorry its took me so long to reply im having issues with my internet
I havent been to see my gp no im not sure why .... i called rape crisis a couple of days after it happened but they were awful and it put me off talking to anyone else
My friends in sure are trying to help but comments like "how am i going to feel if he goes and does this to someone else" and that he prob thinks hes been clever now as i didnt report it really dont ....
Its driving a wedge between us as now i tend to back off from messaging or calling as i cant bear to hear it
Im so scared of loosing my friends too as then ill have no one

This could be helpful reconnected.life/experience/

Thank you ill have a look i just want to feel better again maybe thats unrealistic
Im meant to be at a party tomorrow with my friends and i feel panicky about it already i have no idea why