Crush

[siillygoose]

I have namechanged for this as I feel super silly.

I have a crush on a guy from my office. We sit very close and I spend the day looking at him from over my screen (he is not facing me, but I am embarrased to admit I do it a lot) although we have not even talked yet.

He has been sitting there for maybe 2 months (didnt meet him before that, but in the company for about 6 months). I see that he is slowly talking to people and trying to make friends.

Me, separated for almost 2 years (XH left me for OW) and only recently started looking at men in a romantic/sexual way again. I have two kids under 4 years and do 90% of daycare pickups so I dont get to hang out after work.

I really like him and if I was my old me, I would go for it. But I find so many obstacles now.

First of all I dont want to embarras myself. We also work together so I dont want any sense of awkwardness...

He doesn't have a ring. I have stalked his social media but hardly anything there. So the first thing is I dont know if he is available.

Second thing, I don't know his age. Linkedin says he started his studies in 2011. That could mean he is barely 25 (I am 34) ot he could have had a gap between high school and current studies...

And obviously there is the... would he like me? But of course, the other two points need to be resolved first.

I have thought of asking him about his project but I can't just go to his desk and start chatting (open space). I have also thought writing to him through our company chat asking about the project he is working on but it seems kind of ridiculous to write when we sit so close.

And lastly I have thought about the line "hey, we sit so close and we have never talked. I am siilygoose..."

Please help me wise MN!

Update!!

Mr Sexy Beard was at the office until midnight for the last couple of days, so definitely no time for breaks! So I won't give up yet but the ball is in his court.

And yesterday after a meeting snother colleague opened a chat to tell me how cool my name is and flirt and flirt and flirt hahaha I am not interested in second guy, he is at least 10 years older, but hey, it looks like I still got it! Finally some injection of self esteem

Friday at last and Mr Number2 insisted on the coffee. I said I needed to leave soon and we could grab one in the kitchen... he preferred to rush it outside but I said I couldn't. Officw coffee then. I laugh a lot, he is really funny. Interested in getting to know him but not attracted romantically.

I wrote a couple of messages to Mr. Sexy Beard during the day and he replied with lmao. However when I was leaving I walked to Mr Sexy Beard and told him to take things easy. Brave me. Because it is Friday and I am feeling confident haha

When I got home... message from Mr Sexy!!! To tell me that he left the office Well, that was nice rhat he let me know, I think. I told him next time he needs to come for beers...

This thread is exciting!!!

Mr Sexy Beard so hard to read as he could just be what you imagine a stereotypical IT worker to be like (shy / introvert). Sounds like he's breaking down his barriers slowly!

Just keep doing what you are doing. Take it slowly, and just try and read him.

I always think don't do anything that would embarrass you should you find out they do have a GF down the track.

Mr 2 sounds great too, even just for that adult conversation, male company and a dinner from time to time.

You def still got it keep us updated. So excited for you X

I admire your bottle! Yes you've certainly still got it!!! Don't discount Number 2 (give him a different name though, sounds like a poo). He sounds good fun.

After a long weekend, and I took an extra day off, I didn't think I would be updating today!

I brought the book for Mr Sexy Beard but after working all weekend he is off sick.

On the other hand, Mr Witty sent me a message celebrating I am back at the office, so he noticed my absence yesterday Today some more chatting and he reminded me of that coffee... (Tiny thing but I like that he says he owes me that coffee and not the other way around )

One hour coffee, I showed him a photo of my DC. 5 minutes back in the office he texts that we need to do more coffees! Overall nice guy, he is 40 , he has his appeal but I am at a crossroads. He invited me to a nice place (think beautiful outdoors park) for wine and play a board game I said I liked. On a weekend, since he said he is aware I need to prepare logistics for the kids. I am fricking blocked. I want to go but not. I want to know him better and I am ready for that but not for a date. I believe he is definitely interested in me. I also think he is sensible and wants to get to know me but whar if ge thinks it is a date?

And by that I dont mean if he tries to kiss me. I mean my expectations is to go have a good time knowing more about each other as you wouls do qhen you meet a new friend rather than "we are mutually attracted lets see if this can work". Am I jumping the gun/overthinking or not? I just feel so so weird. And anxious.

Just go!!! He sounds a right gentleman so far (who does have a crush on you). But hes old enough to read vibes, he will not take offence and not let things become awkward if it transpires that you are on different pages. I'm sure he wouldn't mind having a new female friend if that's all that comes of it.

I've lost interest in mr sexy beard, I like mr witty much more

I don't like beards by the sexy beard guy sounds more intriguing.

It is Friday again!! I met my mommy friends last night and we had a few laughs between the puke and the poohs.

Mr Sexy Beard was back at the office yesterday and he send me a messag askong how was my weekend We chatted a little bit and I tried the approach of "you graduated 3 years ago you mudt be very young" but he just said he is not young anymore. Couldn't get a better answer I said something about using his beard as a disguise (for age) and there sas silence after that. He also left erly, I think he was not feeling well. I am going to try something like "I was teasing, I think your beard is nice", see if he talks some more hehe We have some office social time today so hopefully he will join for rhe beer today

My friends think Mr Witty is ok but "the way I talk about Mr Sexy Beard..." I should forget about him.

Oh.my.gosh. Mr Sexy Beard is a baby 27!!!

Oh that's not a big age gap in the scale of things.

i think MrWitty sounds better - give him a chance!

LIVE: office social and played fusball with Mr Witty and a couple other colleagues. That was fun Mr. Sexy Beard is playing the guitar in Xbox... not my thing

Let go of mr beard!!!

Go mr witty !!!!

In the last week or so...

Mr Beard returned my book saying that he didn´t have time to look at it and he was not much of a reader. We chatted a little bit, and that is about it.

On the other hand, I passed to whatsapp with Mr Witty and we spent a night talking until 4 am! Relationships and personal stuff. He told me that he has OLD profiles and I gossiped a bit. I found political/religious views not to be aligned with me so I don´t think it can work, although I enjoy his company. He thinks homosexuality is a sin, he likes Trump and he recognizes he has cheated on a previous relationship.

He is an entrepreneur, so he leaves my office to go to his own and work until 2-3am. He is also in debt due to this, so he just had to move into a room share.

Whatever they put in the office water, there is a third guy, Mr. Nerdy, who is asking me to grab lunch every day. I have gone a couple of times, and he keeps asking. Every single day. He also waits for my lunch time (I usually eat about 2 hours later than what is "normal" here). He asked me to grab lunch tomorrow and I decided I am just going to go and make lots of friends :)

Ooops, message from Mr Witty right now (we are in N. America, so 9:30pm here). We have our "date" for the board game on Sunday. Today was the first time that he came to say bye before leaving the office, and asked me in front of other people if Sunday was still on . Mind you that these people (two guys) were giving me a hug . Yes, I work in the best office ever hehe

TBC

All three don't sound relationship suitable but definitely lots of male friendships potential :-) your office sounds good fun!!

I work in IT, so plenty of men and only a few women. It is very casual, so banter is normal. We also have beer on Fridays (in the office) and lots of videogames and things to get distracted during the day, that encourages socializing. Very young people on average.

Mr Witty wanted to clarify that Sunday is not a date. He just thinks I am cool and wants to be friends. But he told me he thinks I have an admirer: Mr Nerdy.

Why you think Mr Nerdy doesn't sound good just from the lunch requests? Too much?

Oh nothing wrong with mr nerdy! He sounds very very interested. You just didn't come across too interested by him that's all. Enjoy Sunday :-) please report back!!!

Birthday party of one of my friends yesterday, so fantastic weekend :)

Mr Witty drunk texted me Saturday night. Something silly, but makes me wonder why he is having fun at a party, drunk and thinking of me... but hey, "he never thought about me that way" lol We have rescheduled our non date since he had to finish work. But Mr Witty is definitely in the friend zone, and he is fantastic as just that.

Mr Nerdy was dropping clues all day today... but I don´t want to be embarrassed, so I ignored all of them. The poor guy had to be so obvious that it forced me to ask him if he was hitting on me And yes, he was. Mr Witty has been getting more friendly in the office and making sure people knows we have plans out of the office, so I think Mr Nerdy had to up his game.

That's is for now... I think I will need to talk with Mr Nerdy to stop asking for lunch. We got in trouble Friday for been away too long and I don´t want my manager to think I am not taking my job seriously.

Love this nice light-hearted post! I'm hoping it works out for you.

This post is amusing me

My non-date with Mr Witty finally happened and I think I may have a great not boyfriend hahaha We went for coffee, then board games, walk by the lake for hours, had dinner and went back to the subway. He gave me a huge hug and weote to me when he got home to say that he had a great time and that I looked great (wearing a maxi dress that is not my usual office outfit).

In all this time he keeps texting me a lot, he confides in me and I was the first person he told about a new contract his company got (he is also an entrepreneur besides the full time job we share) and shared all the excitement. So in some way I think he likes me, or if it is true and just wants to be friends, I have recovered faith in men haha

So Mr Witty sounds lovely but he is out of the equation as he made clear he didnt think of me that way and it was not a date.

Mr Nerdy on the other hand was very to the point but has barely spoken to me since. He is so introvert. I try to write to him as I am thinking he may be the kind of guy I am looking for. Although physically I was not attracted at first, I think he is kind and lovely overall. I am just confused as to why he would admit to hitting on me and then not follow up with a date or anything outside of the office. Do you ladies think I should ask him out instead? Or maybe he changed his mind so it is best to ask first if he is still interested? I thought of lwtring it go if he can't bother after telling me he likes me, but maybe it was my response why he is cautious?

And finally Mr Witty has asked me for a date hahaha

And now I am all confused. We got to thw comfortable zone of friends and now he comes with this. I really enjoy his company, he has become my no-boyfriend and I love that. I dont want to lose the relationahip we currently have although I am not sure if it is possible at this point.

I am thinking of saying no. I also dont know what his expectations are. He has friend zoned me a few times (i.e. clarifying it was not a date, that he would take me home but leave me at the door, that I was too liberal for him). Now he has told me rhat he didnt ask me out earlier because we work together (probably changing soon) and he didnt know how to deal with my kids and relationship with XH.

He has been OLD and telling me about it. God, we are mates/buddies/friends why a date now?

Ohhhh this thread is great. Go you with all these interested guys. It must restore some self confidence 🙂

You don't sound sure about which of them you actually like, just concerned with what they think of you?

Don't just go out with the one who asks, think about what you want.

If you only want to be friends with mr witty then say no to the date. If you like mr nerdy then ask him out, he's obviously interested. Mr sexy beard is out of the running then?

Personally a Trump supporter would be a total deal breaker as he likely has right wing beliefs about abortion/immigration/race etc that I just couldn't stomach but whatever floats your boat.

Oh and my boyfriend is 27 and 11 years younger than me, he's awesome and we're very happy so the age gap is not important imo