Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Why has he suddenly started ignoring me?

38 replies

Faye2611 · 24/04/2017 21:01

I'm so confused! I was texting with this guy, it seemed to be going well - we were flirting and stuff, up until last Thursday morning, then I had some family stuff that I had to deal with and didn't text him for a few days (he didn't text me either) and now there's nothing. We are both part of a volunteer group where he updates social media when any of the group are on duty so we text him and tell him we are on duty. I've sent a couple of messages saying that I'm on duty but I don't even get a reply to that and I know he has seen the messages because he has updated the social media sites. now I don't know what to do - do I text him and ask him outright what's going on? Do I leave it and see what happens? I have got to see him on Wednesday evening at a function for the volunteer group and I'm worried that it's going to be awkward so am considering not going. I don't know what to do and I really want to know what I've done wrong. What do I do?

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 25/04/2017 09:37

Stop thinking that you like him! You feel awful now and that's because of what he's doing.

Fishface199 · 25/04/2017 09:52

Faye we have all been there! I remember stuff like this happening to me all the time when I was single in my early 30s, so don't be hard on yourself.

I'd try to throw myself in another task to stop your mind ruminating. Go to gymn, cinema, try not to think about it at all. Also keep away from your phone go out and leave it at home. Get to tomorrow at least and be as normal with him as you can.

Good luck!

Farontothemaddingcrowd · 25/04/2017 09:54

We have all been there. I have experienced this so many times. My rule now is, if it makes you anxious, it's not right. When someone likes you, you will know. If you don't know, or are confused, walk away.

Lovemusic33 · 25/04/2017 10:01

Same happened to me last week (and has happened a few times before with on line dating), I was talking to a man for 3 weeks, he was texting me on and off all day every day and seemed more keen than I did, then I went away Easter weekend, messaging got less and then 2 days after I got back messaging stopped, I could see that he was on whatsapp but hadn't read my message, I left it for 2 days (wasn't going to chase) and it was driving me crazy knowing he was ignoring me so I blocked him.

Don't beat yourself up about it, sadly it happens a lot, chances are he was texting other women, maybe he met up with someone else? I know it's a horrible feeling but don't over think it, just move on and try and forget.

GoodDayToYou · 25/04/2017 10:02

Another one saying, "Don't text him".

If he was really into you, he would find a way to contact you. After all, there ARE lots of ways to contact people.

Either he's not into you and is letting you know gently, or, he's ambiguous or stroppy / punishing you for not calling or too wet to initiate contact.

NONE of these are appropriate boyfriend material for you.

Step away from the phone.
Do not call him again.
Get busy doing other things.
Work on your self-esteem.

DO NOT waste another moment on this guy.

Lovemusic33 · 25/04/2017 10:03

I still get tempted to send him a message saying 'what the hell are you playing at' but he seems not worth it. I'm trying to find other people to talk too to take my mind off of him. We were meant to meet yesterday but obviously it didn't happen.

CheekyLoki · 25/04/2017 10:10

You are not in a relationship with him, so just continue with your life as normal. I wouldn't pester someone with messages if they don't reply. But don't cancel the function just because he doesn't reply to your giddy text msgs. Perhaps it's a case of out of sight out of mind for him?

ocelot7 · 25/04/2017 10:42

I have been in this situation early in relationships or before you've even met people OLD.

Looking back I can see how meaningless it is - though it is a seemingly necessary learning curve - as if the texting IS the relationship...no-one texts like this in an actual relationship - its too exhausting/there aren't enough hours in the day/its not necessary because you feel secure with the other person...

I hope that if I found myself dating again in the future I wouldn't get sucked into this. Constantly analysing texting patterns and/or trying to restart conversations that have gone silent are both completing futile.

All the advice to get busy & then act normal when you see him is sound - please do it :)

Original poster
Faye2611 · 25/04/2017 15:01

So he text me this morning as of everything is ok. What to do now?!

OP posts:
ocelot7 · 25/04/2017 15:16

If you are still interested text back when you feel like it (ideally not immediately!) but do not wait for the response...get on with something else... And if there is another gap NEVER, EVER text to ask if he is okay!!
Then see what happens Wednesday...

GoodDayToYou · 25/04/2017 15:22

He could have been with someone else over the weekend and is now free again. Who knows? The bottom line is that when a good man is into you YOU KNOW.

I definitely would not flirt back. Keep it to the work talk. There are so many men out there - you really don't need this nonsense.

Lovemusic33 · 25/04/2017 16:51

I would ignore him, if he was interested in you he would have messaged earlier. Message him back and it will happen again and again (speaking from expereance).

Shayelle · 25/04/2017 17:20

All sounds a bit minor. See how things lie when you see him and lay off all the stupid texting.....

New posts on this thread. Refresh page