FWB to Boyf-can it happen?

[wheresthevalium]

Looking for POVs on this one.

I have been seeing someone who I have known for a very long time, we worked together for a few years, during which I was married. Nothing ever happened whilst I was married, but after i split up with exH we started texting each other (quite saucy stuff), and we both always knew that we found each other very attractive. In the mean time, he has also become quite good friends with my exH, who I am on really good terms with.

Basically, after texting and calling each other for about 18 months, we started meeting up and basically just having sex, and a bit of a laugh with each other. Now I have started feeling that I might like more from this. So my question is, can you go from just being FWB to properly seeing each other? Perhaps any guys on the site would be able to give their perspective on this too?

why not? if your instinct is saying you want more and this guy feels the same, then go for it. Your ex may feel a little uncomfortable about it but he sounds a reasonable bloke. Just take things slowly and enjoy yourself. Be happy.

That's one of the problems, I have no idea if he feels the same, and exH doesn't know that we have been seeing each other.

I have no idea how to even approach the subject.

fwb??

Forget about your ex for a moment and concentrate on this new guy. I say new but you have been friends for years. It sounds like he has great respect for your friendship and clearly finds you extremely attractive and a great person to be with. I guess it depends on whether he seems to be the relationship type. Has he had long relationships in the past? Or has he had a string of women? He doesn't sound like a ladies man to me. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if he has been dreaming about being your boyfriend for a very long time, probably even while you were married. When you became single, he thought there might be a chance and yet even then didn't rush in but waited until he knew how you felt. He sounds like a true gent and like most blokes - especially gentlemen - he'll be waiting for you to bring up the subject of moving forward. In the first instance maybe mention the idea of going away together in the summer and see how he reacts - if he jumps at the idea, you're in there and you can begin to take things further. If not, then I'm afraid he might not be the sort of chap I think he is. But I really hope he is.

friend with benefits Otter

Thanks cazza, I suppose if worst comes to worst and he runs a mile, I have only lost a person I am sleeping with, we can sort the friendship out again I am sure. Hmm, may ponder on this for a few days more

is that fuck buddy

yes, but I was trying to make it sound a bit nicer than that lol

ahhhh

AFAIK he has had a few GFs, but they have all been a lot younger than him, whereas I am the same age, not dure what to make of that really

The younger ones won't mean anything - you're a sorted woman who knows what she wants. But you're wise to think about it. Don't think he's going anywhere else!