Does this sound like a narcissist?

[magdaboom]

Hi all, I have no experience with narcissists at all, but I suspect I recently dealt with one. I would love if someone who has experience with narcissism could confirm whether my suspicions are correct or not, so next time I know when to run for the hills immediately.

I am aware that Narcissism is a medical condition so I don't want to just assume that a random prick was a narcissist if that was not the case.

Some of the traits this man displayed were:

• extremely arrogant/ cocky attitude.

• extremely successful in his career, very powerful at work and very wealthy.

• violent outbursts of anger at work. He openly humiliated people when crossed.

• total disregard for any boundaries I set and continuous insistence for things to be his way in spite of my boundaries and opinions.

• open attempts to manipulate me to get what he wanted (mostly sex).

• major love bombing and future faking within a week of dating.

• whenever I asked him to do something, he would pretend to absolutely agree and that he would fulfill this request asap, but ultimately he would ignore it and keep doing whatever he wanted.

• when confronted with his blatantly bad behavior, he would pull the "at least I never lied to you, it could be worse" card or he would pretend to apologize but then carry on with his rubbish behavior.

• every time I rightfully ended things with him because of his outrageous behavior, he would withdraw and ignore me for a couple of weeks and then come back stronger and more intrigued than ever, pretending nothing happened and chasing me aggressively.

Does this sound like a narcissist to you? Or just a random prick?

He sounds awful.

Give him the cold shoulder treatment. Someone posted a link before on how to deal with narcissists you couldn't shake off...maybe they will post again (I can't remember it!)

Makingbeacon ahaha he IS awful! Got rid of him already, this time I hope for good.

It is just that I never ever in my life dealt with anyone whose behavior was so outrageous and non-sensical (despite him being intellligent, so it can't be stupidity), so I was wondering if there could be a condition involved!

It's certainly mentally abusive.

There are signs of a narcissist personality but he actually shows signs of psychopathology.

I say psychopath because of the game playing. He almost enjoyed the manipulation and watching you trying to fit round him. He seemed to have disregard for your feelings and generally would come back for more. Psychopaths are also known to be really interesting and almost captivating to their pray. They are game players with no regard for the emotions of others and seek great enjoyment in the manipulation of people. They see no problems with this. They are also very likely to be in top jobs and do extremely well at work but are viewed ruthless.

Narcissistic personality does do this but in a far more selfish way. It's only if it will benefit them. They rarely put effort into anyone else. They demand the world to be about them and only them. They are delusional in there belief of how fantastic they are. They tend not to be as captivating but their confidence and success can be attractive.

My money is on psychopathic with Narcissistic traits. It's not uncommon for a psychopath to also have Narcissistic personality.

Sounds like a totally abusive prick and you're lucky to be able to get away from him! Narcissists tend to have an overinflated ego, an exaggerated sense of their own importance and they have a total lack of empathy. Every conversation becomes 'all about them'. There are specific criteria to get an official diagnosis-- but one trait is that a narcissist will not admit that they have a problem as they can't see it. Therefore it is very difficult to treat.

It's hard to say whether this man is a narcissist as defined by a medical diagnosis, or just an abusive jerk who has learned manipulation techniques to get his own way and make his life easier. In any case, if he 'discards' you (as narcissists tend to do when they cease to find you obliging or useful anymore) take advantage of the opportunity to get away and don't look back!

Fabolous wow, this sounds even scarier!!! A psychopath! Although having a quick read on the topic I can definitely recognize some traits.

I feel a bit dumb because it took me over a month to figure out there was something seriously wrong with him, I should have spotted it from day 1!

Loads of psychopaths around. Apparently 10% of the population have psychopathic tendancy.

The only thing Narcissists respond to is NC (No Contact). They don't understand any other boundaries, or even the concept of. You have to do it if you mean it. end of.

future faking always a sign of a narcissist/psycho. but unfortunately just total selfish twats do it too.

Timeless I went full-on NC a few days ago, after trying to set boundaries that he would repeatedly ignore. He does seem to be turned on by it though, instead of backing off.

It feels like the more I reject him the more he enjoys the challenge. Is that a narcissistic thing?

Rinky it's more like 1% although could be higher in certain professions (e.g. Surgeons)

Narcissists often have epic downfalls (lance armstrong) so sit back and wait

He's turned on by it because you're not doing what he wants anymore. He'll try to make you do what he wants for a while but will ultimately get bored when he realises you're not going to feed his huge ego. He might ramp it up a bit first though.

He sounds like a psychopath not a narc.

You've dodged a bullet there.

No Contact really is the only thing that works. Relationships are just a game for their egos, trying to outsmart you or outmaneouvre you. They would come back in 10 years if they were bored and looking for some "supply". It really is very tiresome. Occasionally dangerous.

He sounds like an narcissist. If you've read about narcissism OP, you'll have worked it out for yourself I'm sure. Though I guess he could be a random prick. Either way I think its best to completely block them out of your life for good. Why go back to take another look at the crocodile in the zoo? You know the drill. They really don't deserve you and will always bring you down (to feed their fragile egos).

Just seen a couple of previous posts. Agree he could be a psycopath. There are white collar ones, not all are violent. Whichever, he's messing with your head magdaboon and I always think one of the best and easiest strategies of dealing with evil is simply to walk away from it as fast as you can, give some excuse if you like ...

Timeless whether he is a narc or a psycopath, there is definitely something wrong with him. I never encountered anyone who was so intelligent but whose behavior was yet so nonsensical.

I walked away for good and I intend to keep the NC. We work at the same office so that won't help reinforcing the NC, but outside of work I fully intend not to have any communication with him.

Well done for having the sense to realise this man is toxic!

It doesn't really matter whether he is or not - he sounds bloody awful regardless. Well done for getting away

Thank you Lelly and fc! I am pretty proud of myself for getting out a couple of months in, instead of sticking around longer and getting sucked deeper into his bs.

Sometimes being proud and stubborn helps in life!!

Well done for spotting all the warning signs. He sounds like a "text book" narcissist. I've just walked away from the exact same sort of "man" wish I'd have spotted the signs earlier. Hope you're staying strong OP xx