Mobile phone ...

[MenopausalRubbish]

I would like to go back to a brick phone. I find that I get distracted by the constant messages coming into my smartphone and I don't feel I am living life to my fullest - in terms of the relationships that matter (husband, children). I am far too people pleasing and tend to reply to people when I would rather not.

I don't want to change my number as I need it for business reasons and it is easier if the various schools our children are at have one number to call in case of emergency/ditto children.

However, I would like my Whatsapp etc to be linked to my main mobile number as I need to be on that for a couple of work related reasons.

Is this possible, or do I just need a brick phone with a seperate number to give to close family and schools?

It's more than just distracting, I find myself being really stressed by incoming messages.

I'm not really sure what you want. You want to be able to use Whatsapp? Which means you have to have a smartphone. You only need that for work, though - so is the solution a separate (smart) phone for work that you can keep separate at weekends, plus a basic phone for personal use?

Why not put your phone on do not disturb or switch off the internet ( WiFi and mobile) for periods of time.

I think/hope we will see a switch back to basic phones over the next few years. I HATE the constant interruptions from friends, and mainly clients who expect email response immediately, if not they phone, then text, then whatsapp, the Facebook on both the work and personal profiles whatever the time of day.

I have a brick phone and the only people with the number are immediate family, and if I must take the smartphone somewhere out of work hours it is always on do not disturb with only a select few people messages and calls getting though.

There is way to much pressure to contstantly be checking and replying to people and a whole generation of people constantly staring at their screens.

You can access WhatsApp on a tablet. You can access it with a browser but you need to scan a QR code with a phone.

You'll probably need to get an adapter which converts your nano-SIM or micro-SIM to a mini-SIM (some people incorrectly call them standard SIMs - standard SIMs are the size of credit cards). Alternatively you could get a separate phone for work, but you would need to get a different number.

Before Nokia was taken over by Microsoft, you could get a Nokia 100 for 99p on O2. You can still get them on Ebay but they are relatively expensive.

Or just turn notifications off!!!

I have a £10 Nokia 1200. Charge lasts for weeks, and it calls fine.

Don't do the smartphone thing.

Mind you, I spend my working life infront of a screen, and here I am doing the same at the weekend

You turn the notifications off, it's not difficult. I am perfectly able to read an article on my phone without messages coming in because I have turned off the notifications in my settings. Then I go into the messages and check for anything new when I'm ready.

Thank you for all these suggestions.

Monger does that apply to Telegram too?

I do put it on silent virtually all the time, but this is an anxiety issue and I end up checking and then getting stressed.

I got a smart phone in January and was demented with all the pings from various apps - so turned of almost all notifications, result, peaceful bliss

Monger does that apply to Telegram too?

If you meant the part about notifications:

You can choose in your settings which apps can send notifications. If you turn it off for a particular app, then you need to open the app to see what someone has sent you.

If you meant the part about logging on:

I believe that you can just log on with a username and password without using your phone.

I've decided to go back to a simple Nokia phone that just does texts and phone calls. I can't cope with always present smart phone and social media . I find it distracting and I feel almost addicted to keep checking. So back to brick phone it is.

I hear you. Its like being always contactable and its horrible. I would love to go back to an old nokia with just snake for company :) but my work insists I can access my emails when travelling.

I switch all my notifications off except for texts and when I am out and about on on holiday I delete my apps off the phone so I am not tempted to check them. Its like a drug really!

@MenopausalRubbish
I do put it on silent virtually all the time, but this is an anxiety issue and I end up checking and then getting stressed.

This is a bit of an extreme reaction???

What do you believe that you are missing that's creating this level of anxiety? What are the actual consequences of missing a text/WhatsApp message/email

I could have written this. Completely agree, it's a nightmare around notifications and constantly being available. Doing OLD with phone doesn't help. You have my sympathies OP and yes I'm thinking of returning to a brick and getting a bit of life back.

Turn off the mobile data and WiFi and only switch it on once a day. Tell friends and clients that.

NurseButtercup in the nicest possible way, fuck off. This is my first time actually saying 'I suffer from anxiety' and wondering if I should come clean to friends. I know it's not rational - that's the whole point of anxiety durr

To everyone else - thank you. Glad I am not alone. Yes, it is addictive, like a drug. I have gone into apps and switched notifications off but I would rather be able to turn it off completely. For work I can check once a day, but I want to be contactable by elderly parents and children. I suppose the answer is to carry two phones.

I think keep the Smartphone. It's so useful for things like finding your way when lost, googling a bit of info or a phone number you need, quickly taking a picture of some info rather than writing it down somewhere.

There are things you can do as mentioned above to stem the tide of distraction. I have muted notifications for most people so that I can check the messages when I want to, rather than just receiving them. The only people that I get notified about are people that might want to contact me urgently.

You can also just delete the majority of your apps so it is essentially just a phone for calls and messages with a few extras where useful to you e.g. Whatsapp, Google Maps, etc.

It sounds like essentially what you could with is two 'profiles' for your phone, almost like two different user accounts as you might have on a laptop. In 'home' mode you have no notifying apps, no email, just phone and text (plus as sniffle says, useful apps like Google and Google Maps, with all the notifications they can do turned off). Your phone does not even display the other apps, it's like they're not there. Only certain people are able to call you when the phone is in this mode.

Then you can activate work mode and see the other apps, check for Whatsapp notifications, pick up voicemails from work or whatever, and then switch back again.

It looks as if Android supports this concept (I'm an Android user but I've never really thought about this before) so it may be possible, if you can train yourself to imagine the other profile isn't there except for once a day.

If you can't, I would get a second basic phone and only have that switched on, except for a set time in the day.

I totally understand anxiety, and it's awful, but as someone who's dealt with it, my advice is to deal with it, not run from it. Anxiety is due to feeling you lack control so you must work to get that control back. Don't let a phone or messages control you.

Just turn off all your notifications...

Apologies OP, I skimmed and missed the anxiety issues part of your posts could you set aside certain times of day and a limit of day 15mins max where you can do your checks/replies/etc?

Wow OP!! Rude!

I don't understand. You WANT notifications from WhatsApp?

Just not from texts?

If you'd titled your thread 'I am anxious and obsessed with social media' you might have got a different response.

And telling posters to fuck off that are genuinely trying to help isn't on.

MsAdorabelle could you point out the bit where Nurse buttercup was helpful please? She said my reaction was extreme - that wasn't very helpful when I had already explained it was an anxiety problem.

There's a lot in the press at the moment about anxiety and depression - the London Marathon is being run today to raise money for related charities so it's hardly a hidden issue and Nurse's response wasn't exactly sensitive.

Aquamarine - good point, thanks.

Monger thank you - I have sorted it now so that's great.

Thanks for other helpful comments- it is all fixed now.