Dp is emotionally abusive, I know this, and have known this for a while. We do not live together, and I have been slowly distancing myself from him. I am due to have a baby in a few weeks, and had a scan a few days ago. The pregnancy has been awful, mainly because of him, and I found out that the baby isn't growing well, alongside other complications. I am not allowed to talk to him about anything as he just gets angry because I stress him too much (despite never seeing him or really communicating with him at his insistence). I have just had enough. I never want to speak to him again. I am exhausted and sick of him making me feel like the world's biggest loser.
The latest thing is that it is my fault that the baby is small. Apparently I cannot cook and have caused the baby to stop growing. This is baloney; I cook all of our meals from scratch. I have a dd from a previous relationship, and she is a vegetarian, so I make sure that we have a balanced diet and both get 7-8 portions of fruit and veg a day. He has told me on numerous occasions that I am not allowed to eat chocolate, biscuits, crisps or other such foods, and because I have eaten such "junk" food this has added to the complications. This is the same man who was insisting on an abortion up until week 16 of the pregnancy because I was a selfish *** for getting pregnant (it was an unexpected pregnancy). He has ended the relationship so many times that I have lost count. I recently accepted a new job and will be going back to work when the baby is six weeks old as I need to support two children on my own. He is looking for work and is angry that I have a job, because I am not thinking about the family. It is my fault that he hasn't got a job because apparently he has to spend all his time feeding me because I cannot cook (I see him two nights a week, and he makes oven food with chips, it is hardly gourmet).
All the baby equipment, clothing etc is at his house, as we were meant to move in months ago, then he kept putting it back and back. Now we are (supposedly) moving in together when the baby is 6 months old, so I'm effectively a single mum anyway. I've made the decision that we are not moving, we are staying where we are, and I will be a single mum on less stressful terms.
My biggest worry is how to get all the baby stuff back. I have bought it all, but cannot afford to buy it again, and only have a few weeks before I need it. Sorry this has been a bit of a rant, all I really need is practical help on getting the stuff back, but I'm just exhausted and needed to vent.