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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I'm such a mug

18 replies

Stoic · 11/03/2007 13:08

test

OP posts:
zippitippitoes · 11/03/2007 13:13

too quick there

ernest · 11/03/2007 13:14

not as much as me

fuzzywuzzy · 11/03/2007 13:16

You're not a mug ernest. Loving and trusting your dh/dp is not being a mug.....

DimpledThighs · 11/03/2007 13:19

ernest - you are no mug lady - you were just a trusting, caring person who was taken advantage of.

No mug.

Stoic · 11/03/2007 13:20

Hi, I've changed my name - just wanted to test that my profile wouldn't show up with the pseud.

Me and dp have been stuggling for a while. I feel like I've put up with a lot but didn't want to give up on him - he was the love of my life and has been having some problems, but looking back I feel I've let him manipulate me.

He's never been violent, just belittling. A couple of years before our LO was born he asked me to have cosmetic surgery so I would be more like how I was when I was younger. I was at such a low ebb, I did. He paid for it but of course it didn't make any difference to him, or me for that matter. The surgeon thought we were a bit mad anyway, as I was still in my early 30s and well, the fault was in dp's imagination, not in me.

I've managed to get myself together in the last few years, rebuilding my self esteem and becoming more independent, but he has become more and more demanding and cruel.

We are splitting up but he is refusing to let me have a voice in this either. He has laid waste to our history and seems determined to leave no happy memory intact or uncompromised. My heart is completely broken and I feel such a fool. I don't know why I'm posting, there's no advice to give. I just wanted to get it out.

OP posts:
Stoic · 11/03/2007 13:22

I've just read your thread Ernest. You must be devestated, I can't imagine how much. I feel a bit guilty posting this as it's not as big a problem as yours - it's not a competition I know.

and you're not a mug, not at all.

OP posts:
Dottydot · 11/03/2007 13:22

Oh. My. God. What a WANKER... I hope you're splitting up because it was your decision. Sounds like the stronger and more independent you've got, the more horrible he's become - he can't handle the fact that you've got a brain and have become your own person. What a waste of space - you'll be well rid of him.

And you mustn't let him ruin your happy memories - of course you've got them - I've got tons from what were bonkers/doomed relationships. They're your thoughts and memories - try to preserve them and keep strong while you're going through this.

CODalmighty · 11/03/2007 13:27

what did you haev done?

Beetrootccio · 11/03/2007 13:28

Stoic - you poor thing. I hope you can stay strong and goin some self respect

What did you have done to pease your husband

WideWebWitch · 11/03/2007 13:28

lol cod, you're so shallow

WideWebWitch · 11/03/2007 13:29

Stoic, sorry to hear this.

CODalmighty · 11/03/2007 13:29

adn beetyisnt?
arf arf

Beetrootccio · 11/03/2007 13:29

www - but I bet everyone is dying ot know

Stoic · 11/03/2007 13:30

I'd rather not say cod, sorry

The scars were horrible and lasted years though and mean I still have to be vigilant when swimming

OP posts:
CODalmighty · 11/03/2007 13:30

ooh la la

Stoic · 11/03/2007 13:30

I'd rather not say cod, sorry

The scars were horrible and lasted years though and mean I still have to be vigilant when swimming

OP posts:
Dottydot · 11/03/2007 13:33

Stoic - it sounds like you're finding your way out though - don't let your dp drag you back down and cut the ties with him as quickly as you feel able to.

DimpledThighs · 11/03/2007 14:07

he sounds like a tosser. It will be hard to salvage good memories at this stage anyway.

Keep sane and get out - the memories will be there later.

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