The snip dilemma

[1DAD2KIDS]

So basic background. I am a Single dad 33 with a 2 and a 5 year old. I am happy with my kids. I am so proud of them but two is enough and it would be good to still be youngish when they grow up. I am in the prime of my life (at least that’s how I feel) meeting new people so family planning is an issues to me going onwards towards relationshipville (hopefully). So I have been planning to get down the family planning clinic to organise the snip.
The only trouble is some silly thought keep popping into my head lately. First is what I can only describe as feeling a bit broody when I see new born babies. I melt at the sight of them. The second is that one day think it would be nice to be in a long term relationship again. What is that person does not have kids and wants them?
I know these things are silly and I should crack on with it. I have given it a lot of thought and there are many reasons to get it done.

From your OP I thought "he needs to wait". Then I read your list.

You're having doubts but is that about the surgery or about having more kids? You seem fairly certain you don't want more children - in which case the snip is a good option to keep that under your control.

You need to make a decision now, based on what's right for you and what future you want. Okay, you might meet someone in a few years but if they do want more children then their aspirations for a future together won't match... so surely that means they won't be match for you?

You can make your decision now and know you've worked through all the consequences and risks. If you feel more comfortable accepting the risk that a potential future partner won't like that you've had the snip, than your level of discomfort that you might get someone pregnant ... there's your answer.

Good luck - it's a big decision. It's good to take your time.

You just need to be honest from the early stages of a relationship, that you dont want any more children.

In saying that, you'll be looking for a woman who already has kids or doesn't want them.

ThinkOfAWittyNameLater I have been doing some soul searching the last few days. If anything it has cemented my view that this is the right way forward for me. It does slightly worry what if I should find someone with a desire to have kids and have a change of heart. But I don't think even the power of love will change me on this and its not half as scary as accidently fathering a child. Also I am never going to let a woman manipulate and pressurised again into things I don't want (hopefully).

I am not for wasting anyone's time (including mine) if I was ever in a relationship I would make it clear I can not have anymore kids and wouldn't want them. If I was to meet someone who was great but having kids with them was a deal breaker then simply we are not right for each other.

That's great - I'm really glad you've got to a good place with your decision.

Good luck for the future!
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