I have an older DD who has a DC of her own. She was still at school when she decided to be pregnant. She would not go to school very much even when taken there. She and the BF would skip out of school.
Anyway time went by and they got a house. DD worked and BF did not. It also came out that BF took drugs but lead to believe this was a minor situation. They seemed to be coping and running a house.
There was money set aside for various permitted situations such a uni costs etc. It was decided that an amount could be advanced for a purpose but this was to be a loan without interest, this went through a solicitor. For about 2 years this loan was repaid regularly.
There was a split up. Quite quickly another BF was moved into the house. This NBF worked so it was thought that the loan would continue to be repaid. This has not happened. Other events have needed more money to be put forward. These other circumstances have not even had any attempt to repay.
There are many payments not made on the loan since the NBF came on the scene. There are other financial matters that have been reduced since the NBF moved in such as Gym membership, child's extras etc Things being sold on Ebay
When I was informed that no payment was going to be made I didn't get angry or accusing I just said that I was disappointed. There are now quite a number of payments missed and the other monies still not touched for repayment. DD got quite hysterical claiming that the payment failures happened with previous BF, not true as can be seen on bank records. I was not helping her, that I was not supporting her and that I was not a mother. I am a mother I am just not a bank and a bank would have clamped down before this.
Since then I have not been spoken to in any form. Sent 1 text, 1 email which were ignored. She deleted me and my friend from FB. I have not seen DGC since before this. We were very close and perhaps that is an annoyance that time together was enjoyed.
There is a lot of shouting at me and DGC. Someone reported this to SS and I was sent people to speak to me but I refused to take it further as I would be in more trouble. The person who made the report told me that they were legally obliged to report, so very much an official as opposed to a private person. I was quite shocked by what was said. I was considered vulnerable!
I used to babysit at DD's house but since NBF this does not happen. No explanation has been given. I do not know if NBF is controlling DD. Also other people are no longer in DD or DGC lives including DGC's BioF
I was aware that I was being used for money but mostly DD was being fine for repaying. Attempts have been made to obtain other things but never mentioned again when I said I would do it officially
I don't know what to do now. I certainly do not want to be put in a situation where SS are told I am vulnerable. I miss DGC very much and I have heard DGC being unhappy at being left with NBF and not wanting me to leave. I am unhappy at being sidelined financially when the NBF is bought alcohol and other stuff. I suspect that there are drugs involved but not sure. I definitely know much alcohol is being consumed. I really do not know what to do. My major concern is the safety and well being of DD and DGC. While not happy about the money side it does not concern me as much. Naturally there will be no more money coming out.
Please help/advise or give opinion