staying single

[hopeandpeace]

I started Internet dating and have been talking to someone for a couple of weeks. He seems really nice but when it came to meeting him, I got to scared and I've texted him to say I'm not sure if I'm ready to date yet. I'm a single mum with a 5 year old and I'm very happy with my little girl and enjoy being single, my little girl sees her dad every weekend and me and I feel like I want to only concentrate on my little one and I feel very happy just me and my daughter. I feel very bad on the guy and wanted some advice if I made a mistake? The only thing that upsets me is I would like to have another child in the future but I'm 33 now and it would take a few years to really get to know someone before having a baby together so I'm worried I won't get the chance
I feel like I'm strange to be happy staying single but I am just so happy with it being me and my little one.

If you are happy being single then stay single. There's no reason why you should be in relationship.

I feel the same way as you. After leaving an unhappy relationship with my DS father 3 years ago I was single for pretty much the first time since I was 18. I felt (and still do) completely liberated, I do what I want when I want without having to discuss it with anyone. No compromising over what to have for dinner, where we go on holiday, how I spend money. All my attention is focused on myself and my beautiful DS and for me a relationship would spoil that. I don't want it. I don't want to have someone else to consider in my life.

People seem to think it's strange that I don't want someone, always trying to "set me up" with men. I love my life the way it is. Besides, I don't get much free time as a single parent and when I do I want to spend time with good friends or family, not waste it going on dates with men I probably won't like. Nothing wrong with that if it's how you feel

I love being single. I have two young adult DC and a great career now.

I just don't need a man for anything. I have plenty of friends to go to pubs/restaurants/cinema/holidays with.

My life is pretty great

Of course you haven't made a mistake. That's the great thing about being an adult, especially a single one: you get to decide how you want to live your life. You went a little way down a path, just to see if it's for you, but then decided it's not.

Don't feel remotely bad for the man. Internet dating is full of people dipping their toes in the water and backing off hurriedly!

Thanks for everyone's replies. I do feel a lot better. The only thing is I would of loved another child, sometimes it's overwhelming the feeling of having another baby but I am incredibly blessed to have a happy healthy child already.

Youre only 33. Plenty of years yet

I am incredibly happy to be single. I separated with exh around 7 years ago and I've had one brief (and very difficult) relationship since. I have a lot going on in my life and I just couldn't imagine making time for a relationship, I love that I can watch what I like on TV, eat what I want, go where I want and my money is my money to be spent and saved as I like. I don't have to consider anyone but DS and although it can be hard making all decisions alone and juggling everything on my own I still think I'm better for being single. I don't want any more children though and that seems to be your main reason for wanting a man in your life so I can see how it's difficult for you. At 33 I was only just starting to figure out who I am (I was late getting there) there is still time for you and perhaps right now isn't the time for you to be looking for a relationship, a year from now you may feel differently. You did the right thing backing out of the date because it just didn't feel right.

I think you should go with how you feel and the flow. Life is ever changing and we need to make the most of whatever stage we're at. I've been single 3 years now but I think I've needed to stay single and make the most of my time with DS. I'm 43 so also making the most of other benefits of single life e.g. no stress from anyone else, lots of sleep, eating well, having time to exercise so I'm staying wrinkle free and young (I'm younger looking than all my married friends!).