The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Swinging Into Sobriety!

[Mouseface]

Hello there,

I'm Mouse, one of the Brave Babes travelling far and wide, stopping off here and there to collect lovely folk, just like you, for a natter all about booze and the blues that come with being a drinker of whatever quantity.

We don't wear or sell judgey pants here, although a G-string or two (Oooh Matron!) has been known to sort the fan belt out on the Bus as we've been driving for such a long time now!!

In short, we've regular posters here, lurkers, those who have managed to keep their drinking to 'social' occasions, some who are really struggling on an hourly basis and some who are completely dry!

Whatever your drinking 'status', you're welcome here in the new bigger Battle Bus, (as requested) whilst we head far and wide, listening to one another, as we face each day that comes our way, whether it be good, bad or downright ugly, we really have seen it all and don't mind one bit. Lurk or chat, it's up to you but one thing you will always find, is a warm welcome, Opal Fruit wrappers (Looks at Ma bosom push up! ) and of course, in complete confidentiality.

So, if you'd like to look what happened on the last thread (a bit like catch up TV) you can look at this link which will take you there - JUST HERE

And, if you would like to see where we started driving this wonderful Bus, over seven years ago, you can have a look at this very honest thread - RIGHT HERE

Hope to see you soon,

Mouse xx

Oh elf it can be so tough sometimes. A couple of weeks ago I found myself standing paralysed in the wine aisle, absolutely frozen in the 'want-to-buy-it' brain mode. I must have stood there for a good 5 minutes while my impulsive part was yelling "go on! go on! think of that lovely feeling" and my logic was quietly and consistently saying "that's not what you really need - are you thirsty? there's cold juice in that cabinet over there, and there's some lovely sweet melon to nibble on". I had to literally shake myself to get out of it, and walk away to another aisle.

I don't generally subscribe to the theory that alcoholism is a disease, but I sometimes find it a helpful thought when I feel jealous of others who are drinking. My friend has unstable diabetes and is on a very strict no carb / no sugar regime - I think if she had seen the same posts and photos she would have felt furious and envious that she couldn't have the coke, the fruit cocktail, the wheat based snacks. She would have the same rage, but through a different lens, if that makes sense.

It is good to have somewhere like this where we can rant, and be understood, and going to an AA meeting sounds like an excellent idea. You can rant out loud there

tiger that sounds brilliant. I'm trying for 4 days and some control on the others.

We have a bed (well dd does). No physical damage (big big sigh of relief). But it's the emotional stuff and the stupid situation she's in with my ex. The Camhs meeting will be hideous and then discharge. It's shit.

I don't mean Camhs is shit. They've been ok actually. I meant the situation is shit

Hi everyone, I've not been posting but I've been lurking like a creep from the sidecar.

Aiming for at least 3 af days this week having had none last week, I feel gross and sick today.
Also have a trip to London planned with my mum and sister so I really don't want to be massive seeing my mums family. I'm already bigger like my dads sisters so my tiny mum and sister will make me look even bigger.

Have a luxurious night planned. Got one of those scary charcoal masks to try and planning a long bath in my new bathroom which dh spent last week fitting. Need to grab some peach sparkling water to help me get through night 1.

Hope everyone's well, missed way too much to nc everyone but I'm thinking of you all

I am going to be AF with you tonight flowery after five heavy nights in a row, the nausea has only just lifted

AF for me tonight after Friday and Saturday went to rat shit. Although Friday I shouldn't have had anything as I'd agreed to drive to a party but when I arrived the host put me on the spot then said we could all stay over so I crumbled. Then her abusive twat of a husband announced 3 hours later that actually he didn't want us staying so we piled home with the kids in a taxi and I had to get one back the next day to get the car. I was pissed off because if I had intended to drive and was persuaded out of it for him to pull that stunt. Last night I shared a bottle with OH and resisted the urge to open the second in the fridge. It's going to have to sit there all week.... let's see if it survives. I am reading everyone's posts and send you all AF hugs but I can't keep up with everyone's stories at the moment. I'll get better x

Didn't make day 1. So fucking useless.
And,today I met the most inspirational man who has overcome so much and I can't even do this. He was blown up in Afghanistan, "died" a couple of times, has lost various body parts and is now running his own business because "nothing is impossible". WTF? And I can't do this!
I have invited him to be my plus one for the posh dinner at the Castle at the end of May. He emailed me back saying he would love to go and won't drink as he has a tendency to get "legless" . So, I'm heading out on the Ramadan with a one legged Marine!

Randan, not Ramadan!!!!

Brilliant typo ma

Ma that was fantastic!! but that sounds really great though. What a positive experience

It was flowery but makes me feel ashamed of my lack of will power. At one point in the meeting he dropped his notebook( his hands are very badly damaged) and he said "Woops! I would say I'm all fingers and thumbs, except I haven't got any!". So funny, and such a character. Am very much looking forward to my night out!

I appear to hav secretly drank a bottle of wine behind DH back tonight.
That can't be good.... Does he know?
Oh god babes, help me think this over? I might not reply tonight but will definitely read.
Any advice?
I'm worried he's going to confront me

If he confronts ,admit it, apologize and ask for help.
If he doesn't, tomorrow is another day.

thanks ma. I'm just so unsure. I've been through an addiction cycle before and I have spent so many hours in therapy and yet I'm getting sucked in again just it's different substance.
Freaking myself out that I might still be at square one despite my 10 years of effort

pickle I am no expert, but it's not square one. You've probably already shown more strength of character than most...so you need to draw on that if you can.

Officially been up since around 6 yesterday morning so I need to get to bed.

Please can I join. Just joined so first post. Going to make sure it works first. Thanks

pickle you are not in denial, you are definitely not back to square one

I agree with ma's advice. My OH doesn't even question what I've been drinking even after he's done the bottle recycling and it contains lots of individual bottles of prosecco because I've convinced myself they don't really count as drinking due to their size

Morning babes, I'm rushing this morning so need a proper catch up. This Is my 5AF day.....I also found out I'm pregnant have no idea what to think at the moment or what to do.

Honestly, you couldn't write this shit, I have a follow up doctors app on Friday, I went last wee for anti depressants and she also gave me diazepam 2mg for panic attaks so will tell her when I see her. I'd love another child

Oh goodness - it sounds like pregnancy wasn't on your agenda? Even people who plan pregnancy can have very mixed feelings. I've been unplanned, planned, semi planned surprise with my 3 and still felt odd and confused with each BFP. Just take your time to work out what it all means for you. Well done for 5 AF days! X

Edit - just read that you would love another child :-)

I would Things but my H and I are going through some stuff, to say the least

welcome wrongway up

Aw will congratulations cause you wanted another baby, me and dh got pregnant with dd just after having been seperated for 6 months where I moved out but I do feel it made us stronger especially since the pregnancy took a lot out of me. Obviously babies don't fix things but it sounds like the panic attacks may have been down to perinatal depression, that's what I had and was on sertraline most of my pregnancy.

Hope you're ok and take care of yourself.

My dh is the same he politely ignored the fact we had 3 boxes of bottles to take to the skip this weekend, I was affronted

Oh wow, will. Congratulations - I think... despite the very difficult timing.

Welcome, wrongwayup! This is a great bus and it's good to have you with us.

So I had a total tantrum of a day, yesterday. I was SO sulky and jealous of my Mum friends! Honestly! And then I got bad news about my job - perfect timing! And then my mum came over (she is a passive aggressive narcissistic nightmare - did I mention we have a difficult relationship?!) Ugh.

So I went to AA at lunchtime, and it was great, and then I was still in a foul foul foul mood. I took myself off to bed early in the end as I was completely fed up with myself!

Nothing has materially changed today but I just feel a bit less unhinged more balanced. Still irritated by the work thing but it will pass. In months past I would have used the pants-ness (which is a word) of yesterday as an excuse to get blackout drunk on the sofa. But no. I have a clear head!