Forgotten my birthday 2nd time

[Tinky96]

Tomorrow is my birthday. I know my OH of 12 years has forgotten. He's done it before. There are no cards and no mention of anything. I'm sat here drinking and asking him to deal with kids tonight as I'd like to enjoy myself and all he can say is "it's your job I need to relax before I go back to work"
What would you do?

Why not just say 'What are we doing tomorrow then for my birthday'.

I don't understand relationships with zero communication, How do they work?

Don't shield him from the health issues. He is there father. Not their assistant mother.

No DP of mine has ever forgotten my birthday. At least a month before it I start giving suggestions for what I'd like to do for it, or ask him excitedly what he's getting me or doing for it. Why wait til the night before, seething and resentful? That kind of thing is just cutting off your nose to spite your face. In the words of the otherwise pretty shitty Dr Phil, 'do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?' - don't let a crap situation happen when it will make you unhappy just because you want to be right to say someone else was wrong.

Re the rest of your information, your relationship sounds unrewarding.

Why are you shielding him, has he said he cannot cope or are you saying he cannot cope?

Jog his memory by asking him what takeaway he would enjoy tomorrow on your birthday. If he doesn't get his shit together today & still ignores it then think about where you are heading in this relationship. Most decent men would think fuck! & go out today to pick up a card & a pressie for you. If you wait for him to remember then you will be seething & rageous all tonight, all tomorrow & possibly for the next few days. Prompt him to see what he does.

If you insist on treating him like a child, "shielding" him from his own child's health issues, then you'll just simply have to remind him that it's your birthday and give him some ideas of what you'd like, just like you would a child.

It's really quite odd and controlling to withhold information from your partner about his own child's health, only imparting information that you decide you think he will cope with.

Haha - hilarious pretzel-logic from Sheldon!

'Men are shit with dates' no they're not, what rubbish! They just don't bother to try and remember them because it falls under 'wifework' and therefore not their problem. It's this attitude that men are useless with this stuff and women intrinsically better at it that perpetuates the unfair distribution of life admin 😠

1 yr old baby with neurological issues I'm dealing with on my own. Sheilding from him as he can't cope with it.

Wtaf.

I actually forget my own birthday if not reminded. Its not a gender specific thing. Its just dates and celebrations are more important to some than others.

I hope you've found a way to say something non PA and you now have plans.

Happy birthday op