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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

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Original poster

MY husband said he doesn't love me anymore.

23 replies

Kimye123 · 16/04/2017 16:52

We married in 2015. And I am not America so I am still waiting visa to live in America with my husband. I could see him once a 5months. I am not in America now. Anyways it happend few days ago while he was in the box as a army guy, he told me that he was happy and no stress and no sad and no mad because of me not talk with him for 2 weeks. We've been fighting a lot. And I told him why and tried to explain about everything like why I can not believe him and judge and argue something like that. And he said he doesn't love me anymore that's why when I was be with him he didn't wanna sex with me and happy to not talk with him. And he said he didn't wanna make a fight that's why he didn't tell me about it. He said he feels stuck with mad feeling of me. And he is too young to feel it everyday. I thought we were happy. But he wasn't.. so when he told me about it I cried a lot and all day and begged him to not leave me so he said he won't give up but need to slow everything.. I am so sad and I want him to be happy instead divorce and cheating.. what would I have to do.. my heart is broken..

OP posts:

ImperialBlether · 16/04/2017 16:53

Eh?

Original poster

Kimye123 · 16/04/2017 16:56

Idk how can I explain better but I tried to explain about my happen. He said he wants to divorce with me.. but I begged a lot and now just talk like random people.

OP posts:

highinthesky · 16/04/2017 16:56

Is this really worth fighting for? Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you? It's highly likely there is an OW in the background.

I think it's time to get on with your own life now. You're in shock atm, but your poor heart will mend in time.

Itshello · 16/04/2017 16:59

Where in the world are you now and where is he?

Original poster

Kimye123 · 16/04/2017 16:59

I just married.. and I still love him. I've been waiting for two years more to be with him because of visa. I couldn't go to collage or I don't have a job. I mean I just waited to be with him..

OP posts:

Original poster

Kimye123 · 16/04/2017 17:00

I am in Korea because I am Korean and he is American so he is in there as an army guy.

OP posts:

highinthesky · 16/04/2017 17:01

Tbh you sound very needy and not altogether coherent.

Concentrate on making yourself happy and the rest will follow.

Emmageddon · 16/04/2017 17:01

From what you've said, I think it may not be over but you obviously need to have a proper conversation with him, face to face, not by text/snapchat/WhatsApp/whatever.

highinthesky · 16/04/2017 17:03

Sth Korea is an amazing place, a total land of opportunity! It makes the UK look like a third world country....enjoy what you have.

Original poster

Kimye123 · 16/04/2017 17:07

Thanks. I really don't wanna divorce with him. I thought he was happy and I was happy too but I didn't know it would happen to me.. I got big shocked and got biggest hurts. To me he is my everything. So feeling like I lost everything.

OP posts:

Flightywoman · 16/04/2017 17:09

I think you might want to ask for your post to be moved to the relationships board.

But essentially, he sounds as though he has checked out of the marriage - him saying he will think about it is his trying to soften the blow when he says it again. Don't doubt that he probably means it.

How many times have you seen him since you married? Or even altogether since you met?

I'm sorry this has happened to you.

Original poster

Kimye123 · 16/04/2017 17:12

I would like to move this post but i don't know how to do it.. and I came back to Korea last Mar 19th and I stayed in America for tree month last time. Actually I stayed in there with him totally 9moths. Because I visited there 3 times for tree months

OP posts:

Original poster

Kimye123 · 16/04/2017 17:13

Oops three*

OP posts:

MNHQ

LornaMumsnet · 16/04/2017 17:13

Hi there Kimye123,

We're moving this over to relationships now.

Sending strength and love from MNHQ.

BarneyRumbleton · 16/04/2017 17:16

Have you ever lived together? Or has it always been long distance, with you each having your own homes? Sounds very difficult.

Original poster

Kimye123 · 16/04/2017 17:19

Totally I lived with him for 9months but I could go to America once a 4or 5months. I did for 3 times so yeah. And I've been doing it almost two years.

OP posts:

Original poster

Kimye123 · 16/04/2017 17:45

OP posts:

SearchingforGrandparents · 16/04/2017 21:41

It sounds like he may have someone else or have married you for the pay increase involved with being married whilst in US Army. I was used like this.

I know you love him but let him go. Find someone whom you don't have to beg to love you. You deserve better

SandyY2K · 16/04/2017 22:37

With no kids and no joint assets... And a husband who doesn't love you, just end it. It's not worth fighting for.

TheElephantofSurprise · 16/04/2017 22:38

Let it go. Divorce. Start again.

Original poster

Kimye123 · 17/04/2017 07:05

I can't... :/ scared..

OP posts:

jeaux90 · 17/04/2017 08:51

This is going to sound brutal but he doesn't want to be married to you and you can't force someone to stay married to someone they don't love.

You deserve better anyway, deserve to be loved.

It does sound though like you need to work on yourself, your confidence, you seem to be defining yourself by your relationship

It is scary going it alone (I'm a single mum) but it's wonderful being independent

Original poster

Kimye123 · 18/04/2017 22:38

Feeling like I am done. But I talked with him that we will try to fix together.. he said he doesn't have woman he just tired of my judge and argue for a while. So I am going to talk with him as soon as he gets out off in the box and try to fix together.. at least I wanna try and if it doesn't work then I need to be a strong woman..

OP posts:

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