Miaou, I think you have hit the nail on the head when you say he is lacking direction in his life and trying to fill it. He does admit that he is not fulfilled with his life but does not know what to do it. When I suggested he could do some sort of charity work to fill up his days, he just laughed and said he would rather just write them out a cheque. Dont get me wrong, he is a nice person, but money has definetly changed him. I often wish we could go back to how we were years ago. (Have been married 14 years). We do some family things, went to Disneyland Paris before Xmas, and Centre Parcs Holland in the summer. However I always feel he is doing these things because he feels he should and also to keep me quiet, not because he wants to. It is sometimes quite hard work when we do go away as a family because of this. He would not dream of coming with me to a soft play area or something like that and has never once took DS1 to school. As I said, he does admit he feels that he is an old dad and I think is sometimes embarrased by this although 46 isn't that old.
Mountaingirl, we do some things together, for instance tonight are going out for a meal with some friends. Babysitters are thin on the ground though, so do not get to do this so often. Will probably have a nice night, however he will then lay in in the morning, whilst I get up with the kids, so I will be grumpy all over again! Do not have anyone to have the children overnight, so are really limited. Have certainly been thinking about booking a holiday for me and the children (btw they are boys not girls!). It wouldn't bother me in the slightest and I actually think it would be a lot less stressful. Would like to go with another friend in the same postion, however most of my friends are married (happily!). I do feel like DH's surrogate mother most of the time, unfortunately he lost his mum a few years back so have to be careful what I say on that front.
Squonk, thanks very much for listening, it really does help!
I know me and DH do not have a very good relationship when it comes to communication. I do not like confrontation so tend to let things carry on. I have not worked for a few years, so have lost a lot of my confidence. I do think DH loves me deep down and would be gutted if anything was to happen to us, however I do wonder if I am wasting my life by carrying on like this.