Possible child welfare case, need advice re his ex partner

[Namechanged1234567]

Sorry this is long and complicated but quite serious.

DP and his ex wife have a 3 year old child. They separated when their child was newborn. Ex wife has mental health issues which she is medicated for and a history of violence and drug abuse, which she also left behind her years ago. By all accounts she is a good mother to their child.

DP's child spends every weekend with us. I have DC from a previous marriage and we have a baby of our own.

A couple of years ago ex wife got a new partner. DP wanted to meet him if he was going to be spending time around his child but ex wife refused. I came on mums for advice and was told that it was none of DP's business and he was controlling for wanting to meet this new man. He never met him.

So yesterday DP received an email from ex wife partner. He said that ex is selling herself for cocaine, had a threesome which was filmed and her child walked in during it, that his child was taken to hospital for swallowing cocaine and a few more horror stories.

DP immediately went to fetch his child without telling the mother what it was about. Ex wife partner asked to meet DP to talk through what had been going on. Ex wife then gets wind of what's happening and her, her family and friends all barrage DP with calls saying that the partner is psychotic. They said he's been beating ex wife, that the police are involved and that he has a history of violence against women, robbery and burglary and has been to prison......

So we now have his child safe and are not sure the next steps to take. Either he is lying or she is, but either was she has allowed this man into her child's life. He was in prison for a spell while they were together for drink driving too.

I am so angry and upset that this shitstorm has been brought into all of our lives and desperately worried about DP's child. The mother now wants to take their child 200 miles away to live, it's just insanity.

And has your partner spoken to police himself? Because she would say that, wouldn't she? Which doesn't mean it isn't true, of course.

Thanks Gallavich and Bert, and also everyone else.

I called the police on 101 the day it all happened and asked if there was a warrant out of his arrest as she had stated. They were unable to tell me anything due to data protection....

The police have said nothing.

Gallavich, yes we are keeping her here. The worry is that social services wint find anything as the mother is now wise to the possibility of an investigation. DP has said he has no reservations about getting SS involved if and when she does return to her mother though.

This is serious and I don't quite understand the wait and see approach. Of the course the Police were never going to reveal private information about her bf. The conversation should have been with SS; you fear that the resident parent isn't stable or is an unstable domestic situation, that has resulted in Police intervention, what can we do?

I get the uneasy feeling that you and your partner are more concerned about being dragged into an unpleasant situation rather than the health and safety of a young child at the heart of the unpleasant situation.

I urge you both to be more proactive.

Social services have been closed over the weekend. They couldn't have spoken to anybody. Hopefully they will be getting in touch with them today to refer it in (as the police will do also)

How did you get on this week OP?