friends that suck all your empathy down the telephone then hang up before youget to tell them about yourself.

[colditz]

I have a friend(no not you) who only rings me when she is upset or ill or having a child related crisis.

I seem to spend evey phone call councelling her for something or other, and she talks so fast I barely get a word in. Then invariably she will say "How are you anyway? Oh shit, gotta go, ds just woke up/someone came to the door/got to go to work/need the toilet" None of these things ever happen when she is mid-misery-flow!

I've had a funcking miserable 2 weeks and all she has rung me for is to tell me he youngest fell out of his cot, no injury. I totally understand that it's scary when that happens, and I would ring a friend too, but grrrr.

Just bahhh! I am maybe just stroppy. I don't know how to handle this. She is a really nice person too.

she knows, by the way, that my situation is not enviable at the moment.

My best friend is the same, I just leave her blabber on now.

emm , she probably does not mean to be so insensitive and have just probably selfishly got caught up in herself, i sometimes do this and get off the phone and feel awfull,,, maybe try calling her for some support, and see if that works

She sounds wrapped up in herself. I'd call another friend. Some people are born listeners some aren't. Thank gawd for Mumsnet I say.

Sorry you have had a shit couple of weeks - vent on here colditz. If we bugger off to the loo or to watch telly at least you won't know!

Even worse are the people who only get in touh when they have good news to boast about...

I have tried it but she is always in the middle of something when I ring. She's been like this for years. She went through a patch of ringing me at ming a clock in the morning (ie before 80 when my child, left alone, would sleep until 9 30 am! And she knew that too, but her child got up at 6 and she wanted someone to talk to. She was bored. I hadf to start unplugging the phone. I always answered it after I got up though.

I have a couple of friends like that. I have had it out with them in the past. Now if it a conversation goes on for too long in that vain I tend to cut the call short myself. Maybe they get it.

I have a friend exactly like that!!

God colditz one of the best thread titles I'VE EVER SEEN

describes a friend of mine perfectly

emm, she does sound rather selfish,, try avoiding her calls a little with gotta go such a such has just happened, maybe it being retuerned onto her might make her relaise

I didn't really know how to phrase it, LOL. She's not exactly needy, more... wanty.

i had a friend like this for many years. in fact she came to stay with me when her marriage was rocky. her and her kids. she constantly moans neer did anything about it - loved to go from one crisis to another and layalty kept me going back.

then one day we went out for a drink and she left me standing in the club holding her coat and her bag whilst she went dancing with other men - something i dont do as i;m married.

i waited patiently for ages. - remember i had travelled 300 miles - not just for this but this was part of my plan for my time - time away from other people , other friends i could have gone out with.

so i walked over to her in the middle of the club chucked (literally) her stuff at her and got a taxi

i havent spoken to her since that was 12 months ago - in which time shes shacked up with another bloke and had a baby this week. nice

oh - so to the OP - get rid.

Message deleted

God... i did have two friends like this.. I've managed to jetison one though. Now just need to get the other sorted.

I have a friend like that, but she has no kids, she always calls me when she has problems with her man, and like an idiot, i sit and listen to her and help her out... well this time round it aint happening, she has not been there for me since DS was born, i went through a few rough weeks and she knew that, but she stayed away. All she done was e mail me telling me how great her weekend was, out with the girls partying.... not what i wanted to hear at the time, and she never bothered asking if i wanted a night out!!!!. Ive known her for 18yrs, but i can see out friendship coming to an end. She has even tried to break up my friendship with my best friend....

I know it's trouble when I pick up the phone and just here 'hello' in that groany voice.

hear*

yes, I answer the phone and she says

"Hello, how are you?"

"Um, ok - "

"oh well I'm glad someone is "

"Ok, why?"

then yapper yapper yapper about how one child woke at blah o clock, and (fully present and finacialLy dependable) husband disturbed her by being ill, and the cat's really getting on her nerves etc etc

And I feel like shouting "I AM HOLDING ON TO MY SANITY BY THE SKIN OF MY TEETH, AND YOU DON'T EVEN LOOK AFTER YOUR KIDS WHN THEY ARE ILL, YOUR HUSBAND DOES, STOP MOANING BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'VE GOT!"

But I don't, because she is just as entitled to have problems as anyone else, and I snivel on about trivial daft things as much as anyone, but God, I am practically going through a divorce exept we weren't married, my 4 year old is devastated and has taken to stealing his brother's dummy and bottle and sucking his fingers, and I am up to my eyeballs in bills that I have no income for at this time (although Income Support is on it's way) and I don't want to effing hear it, OK?

I'm a bitch.

you're not

but she is

I could tell you about my "friend" but i don't have time

Will tell you tomorrow when sober

Yes do.

you think thats bad colditz? Let me tell you all about my problems.......................

LOL