What is he doing to me??

[MrsDrRaj]

Last night I woke up to my partners hand down my pants (sorry tmi) and touching me, while pleasuring himself. I didn't know what to do so I just pretended to be asleep until it was over. He was very obviously trying not to wake me up.

He's done this a couple of times before but the first time I didn't think much of it, the second time was on holiday.

We don't have a very good sex life lately (the past year or so) since I had a miscarriage (wasn't planned) so I've been feeling too emotional and tender. Even though he begged me to have sex a week after, which led to a really bad infection, which put me off sex even more.

So things haven't been how they used to be, but isn't this extreme??

I feel really violated by him which is really confusing me, he's someone I trust very much.

Please someone tell me what to do.

My stbxh behaved exactly like this throughout our relationship. At first I used to bat him away. I would cling on to the edge of the bed to avoid touching him. Sometimes I gave in and had sex to avoid the huffing/silent treatment. It got much much worse after we had children, he was no longer the center of my attention. A week after my first horrific birth, failed vontuse (sp), forceps delivery, he was pawing at me for sex. He would kiss me against my will. I became more vocal, I would clearly say no, stop touching me but his behaviour continued.

All this led to me having panic attacks/depression. I avoided all physical contact because I felt violated. It's only after months of councelling did I finally acknowledge it was abusive. He's rationale "i do it because I love you".

LTB. And whatever you do not have children with him.

Thank you GrannyPants - I'm doing ok. Just trying to build up the courage to have that conversation that will end my relationship.

I'm afraid to say I already have a child with him. That's what's making this all the more difficult. To the outside world were the perfect little happy family.
I feel so helpless.

You do not have to tolerate this, OP. Gather up the financial paperwork/dc's and your passport and leave this sorry excuse of a man.

Contact Women's aid.

Op he's sexually abusing you. He's a rapist who assaults you as you sleep and pressured you into sex the week after you had a miscarriage. You need to find your anger. Try writing down everything he has done to you over the course of your relationship, everything he has said that made you feel bad, every abusive thing he's done (he is an abuser, I'm guessing this is the tip of the iceberg) then call Women's Aid and talk it over with them. Stay safe and plan your escape

@MrsDrRaj I know it will be difficult but for you DC is an excellent reason to do it. You need to keep yourself and your DC safe. Leave him, what he's doing is not normal