Did he cheat?

[changedname17]

Name changed for this.
Married for nearly 2 years, no DC
2 weeks ago I went away for the weekend with friends without DH who stayed at home.
We live in a remoteish area and every night without fail we turn on the house alarm before bed.
The Sunday I came home I remember DH was very off with me and slept all day which I found odd at the time as he told me he'd had an early night.
Anyway I just noticed today that there's a log on our alarm so went back and checked the Saturday night I was away. He set the alarm and went upstairs at bedtime around 11:30 ish but then came downstairs and turned it off at 2am, then he didn't turn it back on again which is out of character.

I have a gut feeling he may have gone out or brought in a booty call but based on the tiny amounts of evidence I have, am I just being a paranoid idiot? I guess he could have gone for a glass of water, which he's never done the whole time I've known him! Or there could be some other explanation. But will I sound like a psycho if I confront him?! He will deny anyway I guess...

Agree with LooksBetterWithAFilter that would make much more sense than waking up at 2am to turn it off.

We have an alarm for when we are in the house and an alarm for when we are out, and they both have different codes. The alarm shows which code you have chosen, and he definitely went up to bed around 11:30ish and then came down and turned that alarm off at 2am.

I stupidly brought it up, and it was in the wrong circumstance (after a glass of wine!) and was a really bad idea as I was far too casual about it. He got a offended, offered me no explanation as he couldn't remember and I had to apologise!
He definitely thinks I'm a nutter now for checking the alarm log!
Still something niggling at me about it and can't explain it! Really wish I hadn't have said something...

Sorry but when I went away for the night and my husnband tried to book a prostitute (which I found out about months later) he slept all day as he couldn't look me in the face.
I would do further digging

Also I would count 1-2 times a week as an active sex life. We were having sex every day when my husband tried to book a prostitute.
It doesn't matter how much sex you are having.

It's a shame that you asked, but I'm rubbish at playing cool I would have done too.
Could you go away again this weekend for a night? If he is up to something he will not make the same mistake with the alarm again, so have to think of another idea to catch him out (if he is guilty)
Do you know his Apple ID and password? If he's been going out you could check where he is.
Perhaps, you could come back unexpectedly?

Pam - I think it's actually his tiredness the next day that's making me feel so suspicious of it! Glad you've said the same so it's not just me.
He doesn't have an iPhone or anything that logs that kind of information so I can't do any of that unfortunately.
Just looked through his phone briefing as he's fast asleep and there was nothing, which I guess is a good sign but means nothing really.

Mrs - I know, I'm annoyed with myself too! We have plans together over the weekend so I can't slope off. I have gone over the scenario of pretending I'm out and then walking in, over in my head. but just in case my gut feeling is right I'm not sure I could emotionally deal with the consequences of finding out that way. Even just thinking about it sends me over the edge!

Pam - What did you do when you found out about your husband out of interest? Are you still together?
How did you find out?

Show him the alarm logs. Demand an explanation. Don't let him just fob you off. Don't accuse him of cheating but demand an explanation for why your alarm was switched off.

How far do the logs go back. Have there been other strange activity?

If it was a planned thing why wait to 2am? Surely you'd want to get on with it as soon as possible.

If messaging lead to meeting then maybe that would be an explanation but I reckon that would be a less likely explanation than getting up in the night and forgetting to re-set the alarm.

How does the alarm work? Is it a motion sensor which means it needs to be turned off if you are going downstairs for a drink or whatever, or would you only need to turn it off if you were going to open the front door? What triggers it?

Does he usually get up or wake up in the night? Is your computer downstairs? Or anything else? Could he have gone out at 11.30 and back at 2? Equally suspicious though.

If he were to use a hooker do you really think he would want them to know his/your address?

I think I'm same as you, because of a few early on lies I don't think I'll ever trust him fully. I am still desperate to know who used some of our tea bags 4 years ago !!! ??? Lol

Since growing up as well hearing of how many people cheat and use of hookers I don't think I'll trust anyone.