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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

First date - not sure. Opinions welcome!

10 replies

BareFacedKitty · 12/04/2017 21:26

So I went for a coffee with a new chap yesterday morning. Nice, definitely single, same hobbies etc. All good.

We currently work for the same company but on different sites. He mentioned during the date that he had previously asked out another colleague who had turned him down. Mentioned in passing, in a joking way.

I feel a bit like second best. Am I being a bit precious?

OP posts:
JK1773 · 12/04/2017 21:29

I think at this early stage maybe you are. Does he say he wants to see you again?

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 12/04/2017 21:31

Maybe wasn't wonderfully diplomatic of him to mention it, but I might be inclined to give him another go, all other things being ok.

lampshady · 12/04/2017 21:31

It would very much depend on the context for me - do you feel as if he was trying to make you jealous or compete?

If not, he may have misjudged having a playful dig at himself.

BareFacedKitty · 12/04/2017 21:42

Yes he said certainly hinted at organising another date, I get the feeling he's still trying to work out if I'm interested. I was trying to stay cool until I'd worked out my feelings on this so I don't lead him on.

Lampshady, I definitely didn't get that feeling. He ended up poking fun at himself later on about it to be fair.

Maybe I should give it another chance, I'm not exactly tripping over dates at the moment!

OP posts:
SammyL100 · 12/04/2017 21:43

I was asked out by a colleague and when I declined, he asked out one of my friends.

They've been together for 6 years, happily married for 4. He's been wonderful to her and although I thought it may be awkward, as he asked me out, in fact it's been fine and its not been an issue at all.

Hassled · 12/04/2017 21:45

Is it possible he meant it in a solidarity, this dating malarkey is brutal sort of way? Give him another shot if you liked him otherwise.

StrawberryMouse · 12/04/2017 21:48

Possibly just getting it out there before someone else mentioned it?

ivykaty44 · 12/04/2017 21:51

He may have wanted to mention having asked another colleague out on a date, in the event of the news being told to you at some other stage.

Imagine if you went into work tomorrow and z tells you oh your date asked out y how would you feel?

Better stuff like that's in the open

BareFacedKitty · 12/04/2017 21:52

This is why I love MN. Thanks for all of your thoughts on this, I'll see if he fancies date number two! We did get on very well so no harm in seeing what happens.

OP posts:
SaltySeaDog72 · 12/04/2017 21:54

Agree with Ivykaty he may be worried about said colleague being the one to inform you.

Bit early in proceedings to bin him off for this, but I inderstand the minefield that is OLD.... go for that second date and see how it goes.

And listen to your gut.

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