Do I take a moody ex back?

[annabananna82]

Or has anyone taken back an ex who was moody and angry and they've changed?

We were together 2.5 yrs
He had anger management which I knew about but to be honest looking back I don't think he ever got it sorted

He huffed, puffed, got irritated, road rage, littlest things wound him up

I know these don't sound awful and terrible but towards the end it was very hard to be around him and I was miserable so I ended it, back then for my own sanity

Nearly 3months on and for the last month he has been in contact saying he wants to try again, take it back to basics, date, that he loves me misses me and has ' changed ' isn't angry isn't miserable

Today I've felt I miss him as at first we weren't really talking and because I felt happy with my decision I thought I had or was at least on the road to moving on

Why am I sad today? Feel it's so hard saying no to someone I love and wanted a future with - not because I don't want it I just can't see how people can change

An I being unfair?

So even after you doing everything for him he still continued to treat you like crap and be abusive; no, don't go back, I doubt he's changed in 3 months.

Don't get back with him. People like that don't change in the long-term, IME.

He's had a complete personality transplant in the space of two months, has he? I doubt it, in which case you can add "manipulator" to his list of charms.

People can and (occasionally) do change but not in 3 months. Anger problems especially. Try 4 years.

3 months doesn't even begin to tackle it.

Don't go back.

Why 4 years ? That's a long time

I don't suppose he's changed in 3 months but he is saying he's realised he needs to and does want me back

But I still feel he will go back to his old ways....I was just curious to see if anyone has as I guess I'll never know if he will change or not but unfortunately I cannot take the risk

Just was curious to see if anyone thought I was making a mistake not being able to give him the time of day although I still feel sad in a way like a loss

Genuine change takes a long, long time. Anger problems come from either 1) a sense of entitlement 2) a deep hurt 3) serious immaturity. All take a long time to change. . 3 months? It's nothing.

He needs to change how he deals with anger and if he genuinely wants to, good - that really is great. But it's hard to really change if you go back to the same person, because you have the pattern of behaviour. When stressed, he'll fall back into it.

Hence why 4 years. with a new person? 3. If you can wait that long, and a few people have, then ok. Occasionally people do change.

Hmm very interesting

I just think I've done the right thing

Spoken to him tonight as feel I had to for myself and it's horrible to hear him upset but I still feel I can't risk going back

Noooo! Walk away. Gosh, my oh has anger and stress issues, wall away walk away. Perhaps get a ?

I think you have made a wise decision.

Apologies, meant to say- walk away. Get a cat? Cats are lovely

Yes cats are best!!! Xx

Another one saying don't take him back! You've done the initial hard bit, don't risk more pain and heartbreak by taking him back.

Also I found your comment i didn't just end a healthy relationship for no reason as he seems to think very telling! That to me says he is still blaming rather than taking responsibility for his own actions !

Cats are moody little fuckers. But at least they're cute and furry.

I also noticed the "for no reason" bit. How can he claim to have overcome the behaviours that caused you to end it if he doesn't even acknowledge he did anything wrong? He's saying he's changed because he knows that's what you want to hear, yet at the same time saying he doesn't have to change because you didn't have a good reason to ditch him in the first place. That's, like, messed up.

Why you're feeling as though it was a loss is because it was a loss. Your lovely shiny relationship died (because he killed it). You lost the good bits, you lost the hope for a particular shape of future with that particular person. It's tough, but if your hamster dies, after a suitable period of mourning you either get another hamster or decide that hamsters are not for you. You don't dig up the little corpse, stick it back in the cage and pretend everything's dandy.

if your hamster dies, after a suitable period of mourning you either get another hamster or decide that hamsters are not for you. You don't dig up the little corpse, stick it back in the cage and pretend everything's dandy.

Some people do. Just saying 😏

Oh dear

A hampster would probably actually bring you more happiness than that horrible guy.