Ex becoming a different person after split

[30FeetTall]

How common is this phenomenon?

I split with my partner recently, after a series of rows. What was meant to be temporary, is looking more likely to become permanent. I was probably 75% at fault. We have 1 child together, and both have other DC from previous relationships.

He has always been an amazing father to all of the children, and seemed to enjoy fatherhood and family life. He was devoted to the youngest 2. However since he moved out he hasn't seen any of them, hasn't asked, hasn't messaged. He is cold towards me if I mention it. It's as if they now mean nothing to him.

He has moved into his mother's house and when I checked his online account, in the space of 2 weeks had spent close to £1k on furniture, electronics and decorating. I find this particularly interesting as one of our arguments was due to his lack of contributions and being 'stingy' with money. I can't understand it.

Other than that, he seems to have been having a whale of a time. Going out to bars, pubs, cinema etc. this is coming from a pretty much homebody, who went out a few times a year at most and always said he would prefer to be at home with his family.

I feel that I am starting to not recognise who he is anymore...

Have you experienced this?

Op, my ex changed as soon as we split, turned into an even bigger twunt.

Told me he "I don't want anything to do with you or your baby" (he is his child too).

Men are wankers

The toddler isn't his so you can barely have known him when you got pregnant. I expect he was enjoying playing family man, and now he isn't.

He sounds like an arsehole.

And hindsight is a wonderful thing, but this highlights why it isn't a good idea to pretend to children that someone is a parent when they are not

"He sounds really stingy, and money is at the root of more divorces than adultery" yea ex and I had counselling couple years before we split and relate person said top 3 issues are

Money
Infidelity
Unfair division of chores/childcare

"I remember reading years ago that aound 50% of non resident parents no longer have contact with their kids after two years" I've read similar. I was with my ex 11 years, married 7, dd very much planned and wanted (I believed) we split when she was still tiny and right from the start we were in WALKING distance from him and he'd still be hours late to see her etc.

Also agree with the 'rp makes contact difficult' being trotted out. What it usually actually means is 'they won't do what I want which is make the Dc available whenever I want at the drop of a hat, regardless of how shit my behaviour is to them AND dc'

Karmanomore's posts are excellent (wish I'd had that advice)

Excellent advice from Karmanomore