what do you think of this dialog

[ithoughtitwasgood]

my DP has the habit of getting angry over little things and then he brings up the relationship and blames me for everything that goes wrong. Last night everything was great up to the point where i asked him what time about he would be back. (he was to go out with his brother for his birthday) Then he got angry over this, making sure that i understand that i am second best . It hurt me but i didnt say much because he was to go out and i did not want him to think that i try to ruin his day. When he returned , i told him how he made me feel (very calm, very polite, he gets angry very easy so i am very careful how i talk) He perceived it as i am trying to ruin his perfect so far night. I replied that i need to speak of how i feel but he wouldn't have any of it, he just got angry telling me that i nag him.He also told me so many negative things about my self that he honestly made me think that he is not happy to be with me. He went to sleep because as he said i exhausted him ( i barely talked as he was arguing and i didnt want it to escalate). Before i leave for work i sent him some messages . Here is what i wrote and what he replied, please give me your opinions
me : i love you more than anything and it hurt me so much when your words showed to me that i am the second best and not a proper family to you. Note i talk only for your words. Its ok whatever way you feel towards me, i can not change this. My only thought is that you should expect from me what you can give and not more or less (this was said because he always repeats how he has to be first in my life, above anyone else , even my child). I also really hope that you are happy with me. I love you and i want you to be happy and it worries me when you say all those negative things about me. I honestly thought that the past days were amazing , i am sorry i did not realise that it was hard for you to maintain them (this because i said that i had great few days and he replied that it was down too him accept my shit and trying not to get angry with me)
His reply later was : what a thing to wake up to in the morning. Meh , hopefully now that you said what you needed to say you will finally stop with this. Not gona bother responding to or acknowledge this anymore. Or it will go on and on
I tried to talk to him and he said he doesnt want to talk and that he would go out
What do you think please

Oh well that's your opinion floweriam I was just trying to get a flavour of her situation, but not going to engage anymore with you as will take away from the op who wants help. Sorry op if I have offended.

OP, how long have you been living with this man? I am sorry but everything you have written points to him being abusive and controlling. I am shocked that he has actually said to you that he has to come before your child. That is quite bold. I would worry that this abuse would escalate. I think you really need to be honest with yourself about this relationship.

Op, he sounds really nasty and definitely abusive behaviour towards you

I read the text you sent and he can't even be bothered to engage with you

It seems like everything is fine as long as you don't upset him so you're just waiting for the next angry outburst. This is no way to live.

Oh and of course your child comes first, he should come second or not on the list at all as he's so horrible to you

He is a dick. LTB.

Your text made me cringe so much.

He was a total fucking dick so you send him a text begging him to love you.

Where is your self respect? That text should have read "You were a total dick yesterday. I hope you've got a damn good apology waiting for me."

I do think it's relevant if OP is in any way out of her comfort zone.

OP, you sound sad and tired. I'm so sorry. It shouldn't be like this.

Jesus Christ, please find your self respect and tell this prick to fuck off

This man is abusive. Get out now.

As for putting him first, or even putting your ds first at all times, no, sometimes you have to put yourself first, and right now this is one of those times.

Save yourself and your child, end the relationship TODAY. The longer this goes on, each extra day in this relationship is another day you're going to have to try to heal from.

Nothing you can ever do will make this man nice/acceptable/kind. Because he's fundamentally not any of these things.

He will only ever get worse. Trust me, they are all like this.