Wanting to leave my partner

[Whatagirltodo123]

I want to leave my partner of 4 years. We have a 1 year old son. We haven't been happy for a while and I'm struggling with financial problems he found out and took over all our money. He watches every penny I spend and is even hacking into my accounts. We keep arguing (even before this) and I'm just not happy no more. Every time I say I'm going to leavr he says I can't take our son or he uses his dad against me as hes on our tenancy. He makes me feel small and like I can't do nothing right moans if I'm tired says I don't do nothing around the house and he works a lot more than me. He also says if I take our son he'll take me to court and all my debt will make me loose my son and he'll get full custody.

What can I do I'm at work crying my eyes out.

Wait til he's out, pack, phone the banks, tell them your accounts are compromised and set new passwords he won't guess, take as much paperwork as you can, including passports and get out. This man is abusive.

His behaviour is wrong, he is emotionally abusing you. It will only get worse, believe me, I've been through it myself. You need to contact Women's Aid- Google them. They are brilliant, so helpful & supportive. I know it's scary, but they will help you be strong & find a way through this. Ring them-even if it's just to tell them what you're going through. Honestly, this isn't right, for you or your child xxx

I just saw your most recent post. I'm not an expert at all but it sounds like you need to be out if there with your son, by whatever means. If you can call women's aid, do that. If you can just go, do that. Hopefully someone with more expertise will come soon xxx

He said he probably wont be back tonight I said why where will you stay ans he replied hotel or something so o went what something meaning someomes house.

I'm not sticking up for him but he can be nice when hes not mad or angry (but then again so can everyone) and we bounce off each other at times but I can't accept this behaviour. I also don't want my family gettinf involved as he will do everything to take my son off me by the looks of it

He can't take your son from you. Especially if you contact Women's and and let them know what's going on. No court or social worker will let an emotionally abusive man take custody of the child. He is a BULLY. Please listen & seek appropriate advice ASAP. You need help, advice & support, and it's there for you, if you seek it.

Theyre currently busy

Hes now saying the house he paus for ia our sons home so hes staying here. I told him wherever our son stays I'll be with him and I'm not arguing over that again

Also he said keep him then tell him I tried.

My response was I'm not keeping him all to myself. You can see him too bit at this moment hes not leaving me and also youve made up your mind then about us. (He said he thinks its time to call it on our relationship)

I feel so stupid. I'm actually crying for the fact I might actually be loosing him yet I deserve better

You're not stupid, you're scared & it's a huge change. But please listen to other posters and leave. Once your head is clearer and you have support you'll see it's the best thing for you and your son. xx

I'm trying to call women's aid but constantly busy

Keep trying. You'll get through at some point. You're being really brave xx

I'm going to pack a bag with mine and my sons stuff and my Nan is on standby if I need her. Show him I can do things in my own. Get my own place and my own cheap car pay the bills and show him I can do it on my own

You can do it on your own. You're being a fantastic mother by taking care of your son and making good choices. And you're being good to yourself, you deserve a happy, safe life. Make sure you stay on here for support too xxx

He said he cant trust me no more and it's hard to trust me. I told him what ive done to show it and I said you want me to be open with you then youve got to stop being angry all the while and dont snoop at stuff just ask. His response was I can't do that

I wish things were different. I thought o had found the one.

He should be back soon. If he comes back

I wish things were different for you too. But know that you have people who care and have your back. It's great that your nan is on standby. And know that there are brighter and easier times ahead (even if they seem very far ahead just now). xx

Well he finished an hour ago and no return home so obviously means I'll be taking my son to my nans tomorrow and staying there till I can get a place of my own. I'll do it tonight of he comes back

Also I don't want to sleep in case he comes back

Hope you're doing ok this morning.