I have recently left a relationship I have been in for 5+ years due mostly to his irresponsibility with money and also his increasing emotional A. basically he drinks from a Thursday to a Sunday – mostly few after work on a Thursday then more at home, Friday same, Saturday same and Sunday same. If he doesn’t have the cash for the pub he has wine at home. He earns a steady wage but cannot save a penny of it, buying clothes, gadgets stuff off ebay etc. I constantly worry about having money to pay bills and I like to save so that if something goes wrong I have a small cushion to help me until the next pay day. For years I tried to excuse it by saying people are different etc and have different approaches but something happened to change my mind about that.
I cant give too many details as they may be identifying but I have one son whom he is not the father of and he also has one child only who is presently having some financial difficulties. His child is a student working a part-time during term time. I took some of my savings and gave these to his son to help out. It was not a huge sum, less than £100 but money that I had saved myself. He did not contribute to this whatsoever as he said he was broke- which I knew would happen - but headed off out anyway to meet friends. He barely lifted a hand to do anything at home, would never buy myself or my ds anything apart from the odd bar of chocolate for ds whom he has known since he was a year old. He then stopped contributing for household bills like groceries etc, would pay his half of the rent and electricity but that would be it.
He recently moved out of our rented accommodation (which he deemed as a favour to me so that my ds did not have to leave his home). I initially agreed to let him store some of his belongings in the garage but since he moved out I have found that some of the conversations he has with me, ie when collecting post etc are very goading from him so I told him to move all of his things out and that he was not welcome in my home anymore. This has upset me greatly as Im not the sort of person to try to hrt someone else. He typically went into a rage and started calling me names etc etc, telling me that I was hateful and horrible etc. I stayed calm, told him to grow up and that it was his fault things were the way they were. I went out on Saturday night with a friend of mine and saw him standing with a group of “friends” at the bar having the time of his life. It has upset me greatly as I was very down about the failure of this relationship ad he seemly was not. I suppose I want someone to tell me that I have done the right thing and that he is not worth it – so difficult though after so many years together.