No problem @thewooster, also any health concerns you have in relation to your parents esp if they are both registered at same gp practice but esp your mum, i would bullet point the health concerns in the letter to gp too with a line or 2 why you are concerned
Have a chat with your brother if you can as somewhere down the line, while your parents can make their own decisions now, whats going to happen if something was to happen tomorrow?
*btw when i say you, i dont mean you specifically, it could be you yourself or someone else, like brother
Is there a power of attorney, for health care even if not financial and it doesnt have to be used but to know that it will help make things easier - once you have all got past this point and in time and are hopefully in a better place, i would consider discussing with parents about at least 1 of you being added to their notes in the GP surgery as a listed carer, this basically means that the GP knows you are doing some caring (from a distance/ non personal care), in a health crisis or with concerns, the GP can speak to you as prior consent will have been given by parent,
For yourself, even if are able to get brother to take more on, carers in etc, i would advise a trip to your own gp, or at least a phone call and ask them to add you to their carers register - you are more vulnerable to certain conditions than rest of population so you get extra checked and as a win for the gp surgery they get to add you to the carers register so a point for their practice target score
Depends on past professions and postcodes etc but i would recommend having a look around on grants-search.turn2us.org.uk/?_ga=1.239218051.1067319476.1491810576
Re equipment - my order of doing things would be, ask for OT assessment to see what is needed, ask OT to liaise with District Nurse to see if can loan anything. They may get a grant for making an accessable bathroom downstairs with the recommendation of the OT. (disabled facilities grant, i think it still is called)
In my area (Northern Ireland) any bits under £50 have to fund ourselves,
Also you may be able to lease out equipment but the OT and DN should be your first port of call mainly the OT. The physio should prob do an assessment to see if anything extra can help,
As @TheElephantofSurprise - THIS - "My parents' situation was different but when I wrote to the GP and copied to social services, action was taken." - copy it to everyone involved, make yourself heard, send several letters etc a week as needed
@thewooster i wonder has your mum actually had a proper ot assessment, apart from the type of one where she told them she can do everything even stuff she obviously cant,
OTs are wise enough to know but unless asked to do a second assessment and have a good reason for reassessment they cant redo based on a hunch as the pressure is coming from above them to reduce services not reach out and persuade people they need the help or service such as carers
"Ok I moved out and have my own house and kids, but I work full time whereas he has never worked in his life" - you deserve a break in this as you are doing this for pure love with no gain to you, you are around to your mums x 4 times a day, have your own house and kids and work ft - somethings gotta give and your dads health is going down so he may not be able to empty commodes for your mum long term while your brother hoovers and makes meals and is a carer who doesnt do personal care, your dads health may not hold out as you say he is not in good health.
i say to your brother, time to man up, gloves on, vapour rub under nostril, pour #1 into toilet and flush, wash out commode basin and flush that water too, replace basin, gloves off, wash hands - gloves on, vapour rub under nostril, put some toilet paper over #2, wash out into toilet and flush, wash out commode basin and flush that water too, replace basin, gloves off, wash hands
By trying to get some help and order in this chaos before everything sinks, you are trying to save yourself xo