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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Friend fall out

33 replies

Renamed4this · 08/04/2017 20:19

I've nc for this as it could be very obvious to any real life friends...

So, a mum friend and I have had a pretty big fall out. We've been clashing a little for a while on and off, she always being the victim of me doing something terribly awful such as me being really unwell with pnd and her taking it personally, me being jealous of her and another mum friend when they took their children to a craft morning after I very casually said in a group chat "I might have joined you if I'd known as our plans were cancelled" - she wanted a meeting with me to discuss this!

The big one though...bare with me it's a bit Facebook related and long but I need to get this out of my head now...a month or so ago an old friend had commented that mum friend was not liking any pics of my child, yet liking everyone else's. Old friend is a bit of a shit stirrer, but I did go and have a look at the posts she mentioned and she was correct, mum friend hadn't liked anything - and it was a bit obvious as she'd liked everything else. Anyway, mum friend and I have a morning play catch up with our children and I decide to ask her (as after the last meeting she wanted re jealous of craft morning, we decided to be open if any issues)...if she had any problem with my child as someone had mentioned her not liking his photos and I didn't want to dwell or question it now the seed had been planted. Straight sway, "no, of course not, I love your child" "of course I've liked all his photos" I said in a pretty nice way that I didn't really care what photos she likes or doesn't as that was her choice, but the particular post my old friend had mentioned was so obvious, so it did make me wonder once this little seed had been planted. She said she was upset someone would say that to me and I agreed that they were stirring. Had a little chat saying it was silly etc...seemed like we'd moved on and all was ok. Later in the day I decided to tell her who it was who had said it and apologised as I didn't want her thinking badly of anyone etc - at no point had I given a name before this...I then had a text saying how she was happy I spoke with her and not to apologise.

Fast forward two weeks later, she's now completely ignoring me, avoiding any direct messages to me in the group chats, just seriously off with me. I then sent her a message, as she just wasn't speaking to me at all in person and was darting off at school before I had chance to even get a reply to a hello, simply saying I hope everything is ok, felt like she'd been distant lately etc - happy to chat/meet up. First response was she was busy, then two weeks after that I try again and the response back was really quite harsh that she was still upset re me asking her if she had a problem with my child and that i'd made out it was one of our mutual friends, which I don't feel I did.

It's sounding so ridiculously trivial writing this down, but I've gone from being upset we're no longer friends, to angry that she's lying to our mutual friends what I said, to tonight where I am now questioning if I really did mess it up worse than I thought I had.

Sorry it's so long, I wanted to get the whole situation down.

Anyone care to break this down and let me see the situation more clearly.

Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
cafenoirbiscuit · 09/04/2017 16:05

Facebook causes all kindsa trouble. I know of 2 mums who complain like mad about each other IRL but always always like each others' pics. It's all bollocks

BonnyScotland · 09/04/2017 16:37

No no I definitely meant what you thought... Pitiful ... Im smugly above all that... observing other peoples meals kids selfies and faking the best lifestyle ...

your Bang on Correct x

Desperateforsleepzzzz · 09/04/2017 17:53

You sound like a teenager

PaulDacresFeministConscience · 09/04/2017 20:00

Well don't you sound like a barrel of laughs BonnyScotland Hmm

Thankfully my FB friends don't subscribe to the "so blessed" showing off humble-bragging. On my FB feed at the moment, in no particular order, various friends are asking for advice on removing chewing gum from hair / arranging to lend a buggy to another friend whose pushchair has broken / updating us all about their prostate cancer fundraising / an update about a good friend who has leukameia / arranging to go to a local festival. Perhaps you just need nicer friends?

BonnyScotland · 09/04/2017 20:58

hahahaaaaa

PaulDacresFeministConscience · 09/04/2017 21:01
Confused
ddssdd · 09/04/2017 21:46

What had the two friends said (about you or your child), prior to this kicking off, that made shit-stirrer inform you that 'didn't press the like button' was not liking your pics? I think shit-stirrer has succeeded in what she had set out to do & you fell into the trap. Let me guess that 'didn't press the like button' and shit-stirrer are now BFF.

Howlongtilldinner · 09/04/2017 22:49

I have a FB page but rarely post anything. I refrain from 'liking' posts for exactly this reason. Heaven forbid I should forget to 'like' one post and not the others.

FB messes with the mind, it's all a popularity contest. How on earth does anyone get any work done if they're constantly 'scrolling/liking/commenting'?

This is a very childish postHmm

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