miserable

[PancakesAndMapleSyrup]

I dont know what is going on with 'DH' at the moment. Hes just come home steaming drunk which is a regular occurence at the moment. The past month has been hell. Im 24 weeks pregnant with our 3rd dc unplanned but we are clearly on a different page. I dont suspect cheating. We dont spend any time together as soon as the kids are in bed he is out the door. He wont talk to me either he has put the shutters up. The kids last weekend would not stop saying wheres daddy....what time is he home...he had gone to his sporting hobby in the am but i knew that by 1pm he was in the pub and i just snapped from being exhausted. I drove to the pub and there he was in the bloody sunshine with his friends enjoying a beer not a care for anything else. I did snap. I got out of the car and threw his drink over him yelling at him that his kids wanted to know where he was etc. Not my finest moment.
Im heartbroken. This is not working. I am tired of being the sahm (due to illness) the ready made babysitter. Its just all wrong. Im waffling i dont know what to do.

Something is bothering OH and you need to know what.

Wait until he's slept it off and no longer hungover and have a serious d/w him. This is not fair on your family and you need some answers. Yes you're cross but contain it if you can. Let him have his say without feeling threatened.

He needs to go. He's just making your life harder than it already is. Give him an ultimatum but if he goes you will actually have less stress by the sound of it.

Thank you highinthesky, ive tried talking to him on several occasions now and cannot get a straight answer from him. He also cannot lie as i see straighg through him. Why do some men just automatically 'run' away from problems. He knows im sick of being taken for granted. I have my own issues medically that im still strughling to accept but im getting there. Im finding pregnancy super stressful as well. Urgh marriage is not easy ever! Just feel so low!

Iwasjust......i would do that BUT i dont want to leave him. However if this cannot be resolved then it will be the only route. And yes deffo less stressful but also different stresses. I dont want my marriage to crumble but its going that way.

Because they can.

Oh OP must be doubly hard having relationship issues when you are pregnant. No advice for you but just hope you two can identify and sort out your issues x

Did you manage to have an honest discussion with DH, OP?

If things are neutral-positive, perhaps have a family day out tomorrow? He might start appreciating the value of family life once more.

Hiya, thanks for all your lovley messages. We took the dcs out tpday swimming and went for lunch so a nice day in all. Had a chat this afternoon. I was tearful and H remorseful. Both had things grating against the other but cleared the air somewhat. Effort required on both parts and his going out so much was addressed. We are going to try and find a baby sitter too so that we can spend some time together as a couple as we need it. As he pointed out it cant always be about the kids we need time together too, not just as mum and dad. Both said hurtful things but we have to make change in order to move forward from this as it goes round in a circle. Again thank you for answering to my vent. We shall see how things go.

Oh and im off to the spa tomorrow for a day off. Nice treat!

Sounds like a positive discussion. Hopefully you'll get closer still before the baby arrives.

Enjoy your spa day tomorrow!