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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feel like i have nothing to offer to a new relationship.

1 reply

ShaniaTwang · 07/04/2017 13:36

I feel horribly, exhaustingly down.

I have two young children and work part time in a frankly very difficult job. My exh is difficult to the point of obstructive and there was dv in the relationship which is why I left. I have no assets or savings, and on a minimal income while ds is in preschool and my salary is halved. My parents and db are horribly dysfunctional, horrible childhood, dreadful trauma etc. Sexually assaulted on four separate occasions in teens and twenties. Witnessed horrendous fatal road traffic incident. Have diagnosis of ptsd, have had treatment but I manage it as a life long condition really.

I have been seeing someone I think is nice for about three months. He suggested we consider ourselves in a relationship a little while ago. I had made my financial position clear in case he was hoping I might bring marital assets into the relationship at some point and had discussed how difficult things had been with ex, as pertinent to my daily life and restrictions. I had told him very little of the other details, as I did not yet feel comfortable to share and did not feel it necessary. Unfortunately an incident occurred last weekend which meant I had no choice but to tell him about the ptsd and then he asked directly why I hadn't brought my family up much and then why I wasn't in touch with them, and I felt I would be lying by omission if I did not give skeletal details. I feel he has the right to know at least an outline of the probs, so he can decide if he is willing to continue the relationship with me, knowing I will have emotional hurdles to overcome.

I feel like curling up in a ball today and ending it myself. I feel I have so little to offer. I would so appreciate any perspective from the outside. Thank you.

OP posts:
Happybunny19 · 07/04/2017 17:30

You sound like you've really been through it and need a break. How did your new man react to the information? I can understand why you didn't want to discuss all the negative things you've experienced, but given that he directly asked you you had to be honest. Did he react negatively? Do you have much other support around in the form of friends?

Please keep talking on here rather than feeling so alone and low Flowers

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