I really don't know what to do next, separating doesn't seem right, putting up and shutting up is not me, is there another way?
DH and I have been married for 8 years. We have two young children, one with autism and very challenging behaviour. I genuinely feel if we hadn't had kids, gotten such a big mortgage we were/would have been happy. But that's not our life, and while I've changed enourmasly into the role of mother, career, etc he basically stayed the same.
He adores our girls and they adore him but it's probably summed up by he loves them but isn't interested in them, for example he doesn't take much interest in their schooling, health, disciplining.
Our finances are a mess, he was self employed but he couldn't keep up with the paperwork and had to liquidate the company, now he's employed through an agent, who takes a big cut to keep all tax paid. But he regularly doesn't get paid on time, he doesn't usually notice and I'm the one who keeps an eye on the finances, worries about them, and works out what to pay when.
I asked him to leave at Christmas as I was fed up of being let down, but was persuaded to take him back with the idea that I'd given him a scare and we'd work on things.
Now we're over our agreed overdraft, close to our limit on credit cards, he's still letting the kids have sweets for breakfast.
He's a "nice guy", there's no arguments and I'd come to the decision we could live as house mates, and acknowledged that having him here made my life a little easier, in that I could get the odd lie in, be able to disappear upstairs when he came in from work occasionally.
But instead I feel, alone in bringing our kids up, unable to manage our finances due to the uncertainty, and just so tired making all decisions alone. I don't know what I do next?
We've had counselling, he's very good at acknowledgeing what I'm saying and trying for a few days, but nothing changes!
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Where do I go now?
5 replies
Stuckinarut79 · 06/04/2017 15:37
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