Getting over a lying sleazebag

[nehapea]

Hi all,

this is going to sound crazy but I am having a hard time getting over this man I dated for a couple of months (I previously posted about him, apologies if I am getting boring!).

He was just terrible on paper. He was 45 and was cheating on his 20 years old girlfriend with me (I am late 20s) I did not know that he had a girlfriend and I ended it as soon as I found out. He was cocky, sexist, sleazy, arrogant, selfish and often drunk. He fed me lies on lies. He wasn't even particularly good in bed and was not particularly attractive.

For some uncomprehensible reason though, I felt very attracted to him. I don't even know why I started going out with him, I just felt this unexplicable attraction and I thought "fuck it, let's have fun for once".

I have been NC for a couple of weeks now.

Rationally I know that I dodged a bullet, that he was horrible and bad news. He would have only brought problems to my life. It would have never worked out. Now I would not allow myself to get back in touch with him out of self-respect and pride.

So why is it that I can't stop thinking about him and secretly wishing he will try to get back in touch with me? Is it pride? This does not make any sense!! I should be relieved and glad that I got rid of that individual.

Please help me find a way to get the sleazy prick out of my head once for all! I just don't understand why I feel this way

Sounds like it's because you can't have him. Do you normally call the shots in relationships?

Distract yourself with other things, round up your friends and organise a night out, spring clean the entire house, plan a holiday, learn to speak another language - anything to stop you dwelling on this unfortunate looking man who is rubbish in bed and has no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

TheNaze that is a very interesting point and one I did not think about. Yes I usually call the shots in relationships, and even in this case I was the one who dumped him when I found out he was not single. However, I feel like I have been rejected and misled and that ultimately he was leading the whole game as he pleased.

He played me like a fiddle and this makes me feel stupid and defeated.

"anything to stop you dwelling on this unfortunate looking man who is rubbish in bed and has no redeeming qualities whatsoever."

Emmageddon this made me laugh so hard. Thank you

Sounds like a control thing, nothing wrong with that. If you're genuinely the one that does the binning off, it must be a shock, just like finding out you were only second best for him.
You've done the right thing, there are 3 billion+ men on the planet & there'll be one out there, you won't have to share.

Generally not genuinely!

You've still got your lust goggles on my dear.

It takes time to get over these things, but you will eventually see him for the asshole he is.