What do you say to people about NC or LC parents?

[CaptainWarbeck]

I'm LC with mine, we have a very superficial relationship. I initiated this to protect myself from their narcissistic behaviour while still enabling some contact with us and young grandchildren.

I never know what to say to acquaintances when they ask about my parents, it's usually the kindly meant 'are they close by, oh that must be such a good help with the young DC'. I've tried brushing it off by saying we're not that close but that seems to get puzzled looks and a change of subject.

I don't want to make people feel awkward but I also don't want to gush and say it's great to have them nearby when it's not. What do you say?

We're NC with DH's parents, and have similar "oooh are they nearby?" questions.

Our reply is always "actually, we don't see them". On the rare occasion that people don't get it/ ask more questions, I say "they aren't very nice people".

I also sometimes soften it with "but we do have lots of friends nearby, and my parents are local", which tends to reduce the awkwardness.

Usually respond with she has her own life she is busy being retired etc

NC with mine. I say they have passed away which is true for one of them

So generally ambiguous then rather than straight out with it.

I like the 'they have their own lives' which is true, and implies they're not that involved without getting into why.

We have gone LC but TBH they haven't even noticed 😆 It is an awkward one when people ask. I had to forewarn my family that DH family couldn't be bothered to come to DS 1st birthday celebrations so nothing was said infront of DH and highlighted the situation.