Boyfriend's friends think I'm not good enough

[mummytobemaybe]

Not sure if this is the right place.
My boyfriend has just told me that when we first got together his friends were asking what he saw in me as I'm not his usual type (I'm tall, fat and shy). Normally I would think this is fine but recently a couple of his friends have been insulting my weight to him and he hasn't been standing up for me.
I know this sounds stupid but I'm just so hurt by this especially as I consider myself more attractive than him. All my friends think I can do better (he's short for a man and overweight) but I do really like him and don't care what they say.
I know I shouldn't be bothered but I am very hurt by it. He insists he finds me attractive anyway as I'm 'not that bad' (which sounds hurtful too).
Any advice in how to deal with this? I'm feeling rather emotional.
Also all his friends are hotter than him and their girlfriends are better (makes meeting as a group hard)

Agreed with PP sounds unhealthy and immature!

Wow - at 21 move on.

Actually, at ANY age, (it doesn't matter), move on

Seriously, he and his "mates" sound like tossers.

Thank you for all your advice, I am seriously considering ending it but I know how much I would miss him

Your self esteem will not miss him much. I will join the chorus of 'You deserve better!'

Even if you do miss him you'll get over it. Immediate pain, long term gain. If one of your friends was in your situation you'd tell her to get rid, wouldn't you?

It's natural to miss a boyfriend when you break up with them. But the whole point of dating is working out if you're compatible with each other, and once you realise you're not it is better to end it quickly. And it really, really doesn't sound like you are compatible (which has nothing at all to do with how either of you look).

Once you have got over ending it, you'll realise your self esteem was suffering from being with him.

I'd end it. I'd also try to put less emphasis on looks in the future, that way you might actually end up with a decent partner who loves you no matter what.

Why are you so concerned with appearance? I have never found a group situation difficult or better because other people there were attractive or not. Bizarre.

It seems a bit hypocritical to say in the one breath that you're upset his friends think he could do better and then in the other say you and your friends think you're better looking than him. Surely that's basically the same thing?

If you're bothered by your weight, do something about it. If you're not, stop caring what others think/say about you. You're never going to please everyone so just learn to be happy in your skin and to hell with those that don't appreciate you for who you are.

You see, I find it strange that he told you this, because it serves no purpose whatsoever and for me it's a way of putting you down but using somebody else's name.I don't think his friends did comment, he is trying to belittle you and dint your self confidence.Dont waste anymore time trying to work him out, get rid.

You'll miss elements of him- I'm sure he has some redeeming features.
But it doesn't sound like you'll be heartbroken - sorry if I'm making a presumption here but it doesn't sound like you find him attractive and that is it important, regardless of height, weight etc.
I don't think he has a huge amount of respect for you and I would probably enjoy being in your early twenties instead of being miserable with him.
Being tall is awesome, it took me years to feel comfortable about it though.

I don't think it is wrong for you to think you're better looking than him. The difference is, you haven't used this or comments from your friends to hurt him.

The difference here is really: he has told you what his friends think, while you haven't. And also, that while you recognise that he isn't supermodel hot, you like him regardless, whereas he grudgingly says you're 'not bad'. RUDE.
Do you compliment him, make him feel good about himself etc?
If so, frankly he can fuck off! Get rid of this thoughtless/callous twerp and free yourself to meet someone who thinks you are gorgeous/amazing/delicious/fab.
You won't miss him.

You can tell a lot about a man from his friends. He is telling you for a reason and whatever it is, it's not good. He's supposed to love you and want to build you up, not drag you down.

Get rid!

Ffs, he tells you you're not that bad, he lets his friends insult you? Dump his sorry short fat arse and find a guy who will respect you.

This man isn't bringing out the best in you.At a minimum you should both feel you are equals.

It is immature and shallow however to compare looks so maybe this isn't a grown up relationship.You may miss him but relationships at your age are about finding out what you like and don't in a partner.

Be mature and end it.You can't make this better.

Why would he tell you what his friends said about you? That's assuming they actually said it.

The only reason I can think he'd tell you, is to hurt your feelings or to make you feel grateful to be with him.

I do find it all exceedingly childish in as beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

I'm sure you can do better than him.

He's trying to manipulate you into being grateful to him for being with someone as unworthy as you. Dump him now.

He's deliberately trying to crush your self esteem. Run