Should I be worried?

[babayjane67]

Hi
I have an 8 yr old dd.she is to all intents&purposes an only child though I do have 2 grown up dds from a previous marriage.
I'm not married now but have been in a relationship my my dp, her dad, for 10 yrs.
She does lots of after school activities.play dates now&again but not for a quite a while now.She never asks for one or seems bothered about it.
I work pt at her school so I see what happens at play times etc.Ive noticed for a while now that she very often doesn't have anyone to play with.she has one girl in her class she calls her best friend though they don't socialise much out of school.if this girl doesn't want to play with her then she basically has no one to play with as she won't play with most of the other girls in her class.or indeed any!she will sometimes play with some of the boys if they're playing something she wants to or they will let her.
So a lot of the time she's playing by herself which she does quite a lot at home too if we're busy etc.she's very good at playing in her imagination.always has been.she used to make 2 characters out of anything even 2 bits of loo paper while on the loo!she still will sit for ever on there playing!
Anyway when I ask her if she's happy playing on her own at school she says yes.she sings to herself plays by herself etc.I am still worried about her though as she tends to say yes she's OK when u can tell she's not really sometimes.or I get that impression. I've spoken to dp about it but he's not overly worried.I've also spoken to her teacher who said she will keep an eye on her.
Should I be worried or is this quite normal sometimes?neither of my other kids ever did this that I can remember.my eldest dd used to play with the boys more than the girls but she did have girl friends.I've always been a bit of a loner myself not loads of friends as such&used to get left out a lot.I remember how that felt&don't want that for my dd.
Maybe I'm just worrying over nothing?

Children on the spectrum are often highly empathetic, to the point where it can be difficult for them as they can find it hard to judge when it's appropriate or not. That same child might also react to other situations with no empathy. Likewise eye contact is not a binary thing for asd. Some children avoid it, others are ok in certain situations, and others will often have at times overly intense eye contact when it's not appropriate.
Girls are underdiagnosed with asd. They tend to be better at mimicking and masking. Generally better socially than boys, they also tend not to act out the same way boys on the spectrum can - they often go under the radar in school.
The literature available for girls on the spectrum is lagging. I think if you did some googling specifically about girls (and women...!) with asd/Aspergers it might help you decide what to do. I would not rely solely on the views of a teacher.

Thanks Shoes.I have googled a bit about it but like u say there's not an awful lot on girls with asd.
Will keep looking though.it's a minefield isn't it!

My dd (7) is like this but does not have autism. She too calls one girl her best friend but they have no contact outside school. She doesn't always get to or want to play with the others but school constantly reassure me that she's fine. Part of the problem for us is that dd doesn't really like imagination games with others and would rather just chat or play structured games like chase. It breaks my heart but she is very sociable and everyone seems to like her, they're just not close. I expect that will change at high school when she has a wider array of people to choose from.
If your dd isn't unhappy then don't worry too much

Thanks Teabag.yes emotions& thoughts about it are very up& down!
She says she is happy bit I'm not convinced she always is. She's not very good at telling u how she feels&/or talking about things.she just says I'm OK I'm OK. I ask Ifor she wants to talk she says no& gets quite snappy but I can see shes not very happy& sometimes that she's near to tears bit still says I'm OK!it's hard to know what to do/how to read it u know.

babayjane I totally get what you're saying. Wish I knew how to fix it. I guess being available if/when she wants to talk about it is all we can do.

Yeah I guess.it's hard isn't it.
Attilla if you're out there what is a gymtrail?

A gym trailis a circuit of motor co-ordination activities carried out on a regular basis providing a structured approach to supporting pupils with movement and co-ordination difficulties.

Ours was held before school started. DS liked it to begin with but became less keen as he got older.

I think your daughter is probably just introverted. Don't listen to people who suggest she might have autism, asperger and whatnot. Even to suggest that a child has one of these just because she plays alone during breaks is a bit cheeky. It just shows that the vast majority of people are not really accepting introverts and think there is something wrong with them. It is offensive. Extroverts are often unable to accept that being introverted is not odd or weird. Accept your daughter the way she is and don't try to force her to be someone else. I am not surprised she gets snappy with you and your incessant questions.

Ah I see!yes dd used to do something similar when she was in reception class.
A small group used to go round during pe time.it hasn't happened since then though.
Thanks

Excuse me Neon but I don't incessantly question her at all!
Only if I see she's upset will I ask her if she's ok&wants to talk. I don't follow her around everywhere asking her!
I certainly do accept her the way she is!I'm just worried for her.
Yes as I've said in previous messages she might be like me when I was a child.

Neon- that's really rude and ignorant. There is nothing wrong with being autistic/aspie. You are implying that while there is nothing wrong with being introverted, somehow mentioning autism should not be tolerated. For what it's worth, my autistic little girl might come across as being introverted sometimes but she also wants friends. Other nt children can pick up on differences and find it hard to always include/accommodate her, compared to nt girls of the same age.

2x2shoes Excuse me but I was NOT rude, how dare you! You are being too sensitive. I mentioned nowhere that autism should not be tolerated. Don't just read what I posted but try to understand it too. Comprehension fail. Just because your child is autistic it doesn't mean you have to snap at people.