I ended my 25 year marriage 3 years ago . It was a bad marriage and more of an escape to be honest . Very happy as hard as it was to be single .
It was very scary at 45 to date for the first time ever .( met ex at 17 ).
I met one lovely man about a year after being on my own and we had a 1 year friendship which turned into romance and subsequently ended on good terms .I did fall for him and felt something I'd never felt before . No idea if that was because he was the first man after my long loveless marriage or what but I did . It was lovely to know what a relationship can feel like and I'm really glad I met him when I did.
Then about about a year ago I decided to try on online dating having been single for 3 years .
I try and fit in a couple of dates a month ,often one , often none , sometimes a couple .
It was seriously scary the first few times but I gained in confidence and have probably been on 20 now .
Apart from one every single man I've met I can honestly say seemed nice . They all appeared very genuine and were great company .
A few asked to see me again and I was honest and declined .
Every one I've liked hasn't asked to see me again though .
Now I must be getting something wrong because 3 times ( or more ) now I've been on a date and left with that lovely warm feeling that it went really well . Each time I've either been ghosted or he's gone cool or just said he'd like to see me as a friend but felt no chemistry to date .
Now on Sunday I over invested .
Out of all the dates he really blew me over .He was the first guy I've met who straight away I was attracted to physically, but more importantly we laughed and seemed to click.
We drank wine in the sun in a great venue and I ended the date as planned to visit my mum as it was Mother's Day but both wanted to stay longer I think ,
So in the car park when we parted I don't know what's expected but he may have gone to kiss me and I hugged him like I would my friends ?
I never know what to do here if I like someone because I am quite reserved if I don't know someone ?
I think I looked ok but I didn't have much time to be honest .
I had no idea that I was attractive unless my marriage ended but I'm quite confident I am now and I feel very lucky in that department . I'm a size 12 with a g cup bust and my hair is in fairly good condition , blonde and very long ( I always wear is in a loose braid to the side ) .
I must admit I don't do the whole manicure or designer labels , I have a demanding career and children to bring up so I just don't have the time .
So when we parted I said I'd message him and he replied that would be lovely. About 4 hrs later he messaged me saying thank you a lovely date and hoped I had a great afternoon following .
We exchanged a few nice texts that evening while I was out but I just got a feeling he didn't feel the same .
Then yesterday my phone broke so I was able to let him know I would be off air until I got it sorted .
Phone fixed today and sent a message as we usually do saying good morning and he replied but defineely cooler and he always puts a kiss and hasnt .
I don't like to over analyse but I am ! I sound like a teenager I know .
Should I just leave it and if he wants to see me again he'll ask or what ?
I liked him too much and think maybe I should just leave my phone alone and get busy ?
Any tips for me please because my confidence is shattering as I seem to be getting it wrong and it must be me ?
I think I'm looking too hard maybe and I probably am because I almost too keen for a relationship now instead of enjoying my me time ? X