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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Need a rant!

10 replies

HulahoopsAreGreat · 28/03/2017 09:03

So this morning I got up at 6:30 like I do everyday with my 3yo, sorting breakfast for her etc, about an hour later my partner comes down with the baby, passes her to me and disappears back upstairs. He sometimes does this then 'accidentally' falls asleep in bed. So I shouted him down. Since this he has just been lay on the rug in the lounge while I have fed the baby, played with her, occupied the 3yo etc. I needed to get ready so left him downstairs with the kids, lay the baby on the floor next to him, came back about 30 minutes later and low and behold he's still lay there on the rug, droopy eyed and I know he'd gone sleep, the baby was still on the floor (moved around a bit, she's trying to crawl) and had spat up a bit of milk. I asked if she'd been on the floor that whole time and he said she's fine she's not been crying or anything. So now I've just changed her and got her dressed, I'm about to dress the 3yo and get nursery bag and baby bag ready. His dad gets here in ten minutes for us all to nip out somewhere and he is STILL just lay on that fucking rug festering in his dressing gown. He stays up late most nights on the Xbox and then is so tired he becomes useless in the mornings. I go to bed alone nearly every night. I just find his lack of motivation so frustrating!! I'm getting tired of it and it's such an unattractive quality. I don't know what to do Sad

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 28/03/2017 09:13

Does he work?
How does he function at work?
No way could I live like this.
I'd be unplugging the Wi-Fi at midnight to make sure he was in bed.

Scrubba · 28/03/2017 09:21

I don't know hells, I'd unplug the wifi if this was my teenager, not the supposed grown up!
Op, he needs a bit of shock treatment or else he's going to fester away until there's nothing left of your relationship to save.

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 · 28/03/2017 09:23

You should have the thrown the dc clothes at him and left him to it. . Don't be a martyr. .

HulahoopsAreGreat · 28/03/2017 09:25

Yes he works, does 3-4 long days a week. This is his third day off in a row so he's had plenty of opportunity to catch up on sleep. I've literally just had to wake him up from his rug slumber. This is the thing, his laziness and lack of motivation is making me start to resent him a bit

OP posts:
Bloggybollocks · 28/03/2017 09:29

Well why are you doing everything g and then ranting about it?
When he came down with baby why didn't you say 'can you give her some breakfast'?
When you were getting yourself dressed why didn't you say 'can you dress the baby while I sort myself out'
While you were sorting out the bags for the baby and 3 year old why didn't you say 'can you dress 3YO'
Women like you drive me mad, he treats you like a slave because frankly, you let him. You act like his mother, not his wife, now THATS an unattractive quality.....
No point ranting to us, speak to him, communicate, you let him get away with doing jack shit whilst the resentment eats away at you.

HulahoopsAreGreat · 28/03/2017 09:31

The reason I didn't ask this morning is because I DONT want to act like his mum. I'm fed up of having to ask him to do basic things so I just get on with it now

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 28/03/2017 10:02

Well then there is literally no point to him is there?
You can't continue like this forever so what is your plan?

winewellies · 28/03/2017 10:06

I know that frustration of having to ask the other adult/parent in the house to do things...why should you have to ask !!
It really gets my goat when my DH says "I've done the ~insert kid/house related chore~ for you " ...it's not FOR ME!!!
it's like parenting an adult sometimes

Adora10 · 28/03/2017 17:20

Jesus, what a waste of space; in fact I think I'd have poured the babies milk all over him and his rub bed; totally get you OP, very unattractive, and lazy to boot; I'd tell him either ship up or ship out.

keely79 · 28/03/2017 17:29

Just refuse - go on strike. Say - today it is your turn. It is on your head if baby starts screaming because not fed. It is on your head if toddler isn't dressed or ready to go. It is on your head if your father gets here and they're not ready. I am not going to nag, I'm not going to tell you how to parent, but I am not going to do your job for you. I am on strike until you appreciate me and what I do. Then go out and have a nice, relaxing coffee somewhere.

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